Animal Abuse

My husband and I have recently gotten custody of his 5 year old daughter from his first marriage.  The child's mother was emotionally and physically abusive to the girl, and was also an alcoholic.    

We also have a 2 1/2 year old "disabled" cat in the family, who was born deaf.  As a result he's very playful and unfortunately, communicates by biting, though not often.

Recently we caught her sharply hitting the cat on its back after it bit her to get attention.  The cat isn't aggressive and doesn't break the skin or leave marks, but his bites sometimes do ***** a little and take you by surprise.

She says she doesn't want to hit the kitty and I do believe she does love him, he sleeps on her bed and she likes this, in fact sometimes she has gotten up at night if she's been ill or upset to get the cat and put him in her bed.  She says she feels better when he's there.  She plays with him and cuddles with him during the day.

I don't understand why she hits the cat sometimes though.  She says that "she gets mad sometimes" and it makes her "be mean" to the cat.  She hasn't told us what she's angry about.  She also told us she doesn't want to hurt the cat and feels very sorry after she's hit him and then wants to be extra nice to him.  I get the impression that it's almost that she can't control herself sometimes.

I don't think the problem is severe enough to get rid of the cat or seperate her from him, but we want to help her stop this so she doesn't feel bad for hurting her pet, which she realy does seem to love.  What can we do?  Why might she be doing thi

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Five-year-olds are not famous for their impulse control, let alone a five-year-old with the sort of history you mention. Keep reiterating your expectation that she treat the cat in a safe fashion, and don't hesitate to discipline her if she is aggressive with the cat. A brief period of time out (5-10 minutes) would be a sufficient response. This will help her to control the impulse to be aggressive. Also, teach her to say something instead, so that she has an outlet for the anger.