Anxiety 5 year old boy

My son justed turned 5 on October 7, 2003.  He is in his second year
of preschool.  Until recently, he was a very out going child.  He took a gymnastic class this summer and really enjoyed it.  This fall
he was moved to a different class and different teacher and suddenly
he didn't want anything to do with gymnastics.  He teacher thought it was because his class had only girls in it.  I decided to move him to an all boys class.  He refused to participate.  I dropped him out of class because he was adamant that he didn't want to go.  The decision to drop him out of class was difficult for me because I believe that children finish what they start.  For example, taking
gymnastic for the three months I had signed him up for.  If after three months he didn't want to participate he'd never have to go again.  I've seen so many kids start a sport or an activity and then
just decide they don't want to do it.  I think this is wrong because
he doesn't teach them any responsibility.  I try and tell them that
the team is counting on them to participate.  I've seen many teenagers with the same problem.  They don't like a job so they
just quit without giving proper notice.
After this episode with gymnastics, he had another problem with going to the doctor's office.  He needed to go see the doctor because I thought he had pink eye.  He was fine until we arrived
at the clinic.  All of a sudden he started crying and saying he
didn't want to go in.  I carried him in crying and kicking.  I explained to him I'd be with him the whole time and that he would not be getting an injection.  We continued to cry in the waiting room and I had to carry him in to see the doctor.  He refused to open his eyes for the doctor or say thank you after we were done.  After the appointment, I talked to him about his behavior and took away a toy for the night
Today he had a field trip to the fire station with his preschool class.  He normally loves school but today he didn't want to go.
He again cried walking up to the station.  I stayed with him during the field trip and he ended up having a really good time.
I talked with him about his behavior after we left and he said he's sorry.  He has not had any significant changes at home or at school.  I want to be consistent and deal with this behavior.
Please advise.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

A five-year-old can be confusing at times, because a child of this age will sometimes want to do almost anything and at other times be reticent. It's the unpredictability that can be confusing to parents. It sounds like you're doing pretty well managing the situation, and thus far there is no indication you have to worry. When he has 'a job to do', such as going to the doctor, of course be persistent while you are supportive and patient. You did fine with carrying things through; the only suggestion I'd offer is not to punish him in such a situation. With both the gymnastics experience and the field trip you did fine, and parents have to use thier judgment about when to persist and when to defer. In gnereral, don't permit the reticence to control the day, because usually children simply need a gentle push and a lot of support to get through some experiences. You are also wise to wonder if maybe changes in the environment might be contributing to the increase in reluctance of late, and this is often the case, even though it doesn't appear to apply in this instance. Continue to be patient and supportive and I expect you'll se your son revert to his former inclinations. By the way, and I assume you've done this, be sure he's not suffering from a not-so-obvious illness (e.g., viral condition, ear infection - some children appear to be asymptomatic). Illness and changes in the environment (home, school) are the two most frequent contributing factors to young chidren's instability.

[asishpo]

A related discussion, child control was started.