Anxiety/Fear over Kindergarten?

[AllieHutton]

My 5 yo daughter has always been independent--comfortable with change and very social.  She has been in pre-school programs since 3, and started kindergarten 3 weeks ago (5 days/wk, 1/2 day).  After coming home, she was very excited to share her day, activities, talk about new friends, etc. She has recently been waking at about 4am, claiming she needs to "go potty", which then turns into her feeling nauseated, and hanging over the toilet as if she is going to vomit--which she never does.  She does not go back to sleep, nor will she eat or drink before school.  I have to demand she get dressed, while she complains of nausea and headaches.  HOWEVER, once we do get out of the house, on our way to the school bus, she turns into her "normal" self...excited to go to school, and fine for the rest of the day.  I do have a 3 yr old son, who is also in pre-school 3 days/wk.  I should notee that my daughter has never "sickly", and when is sick, she NEVER complains, and has always attempted to "mask" her sickness in order to go to school, play, et. My mother feels that my daughter may be jealous of the "alone" time my son has with me, and tries to find a way to stay home.  She will never say she doesn't WANT to go to school, and since I can't zero in on any type of "medical" reason for this, I am at my wits end (and VERY tired from being up at 4am every morning!).  My daughter insists that she loves school, loves her friends, etc., but this recurring 4am problem is exhausting me.  Her nature is to clam up if there is something she doesn't want to discuss, and I have been unable to come up with any reason at all for this behavior.  We are very close, but she has never had any type of separation anxiety at all.  I don't know if it is school, something that has happened at school/on the bus, or the fact that she is now going to school every day, or what.  But I am desperate to come to some sort of conclusion on this matter.  Any help/suggestions are greatly appreciated.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Often with young children we are left to infer the meaning of their behavior because the behavior, not words, is the vehicle for communication. Young children are not introspective by nature, so they sometimes are influenced by factors about which they are not very aware. It's OK to inquire of your daughter if there's anything she's bothered by, but don't necessarily expect a revelation. It is entirley possible that she is displaying some anxiety associated with the school experience and its impact at home. If so, you can expect that this recent behavior will wane. Be sure to check with her teacher to be sure things are OK on that front; they likely are. In the meantime, try to absorb the temporary inconvenience as part of the strains we tolerate as parents; the joys, fortunately, generally outweigh the temporary strains.

[AllieHutton]

Thank you so much.  I am beginning to think that this may, in some way, have come from a stomach virus that both children had a few weeks ago (which involved a LOT of vomiting).  Last night when my son asked my daughter if she wanted a cracker, I overheard her say "No thank you, it will make me throw up."  After the difficulty I had with her yesterday morning (complaints of nausea), I sent her to school, where there were no problems at all.  When she woke this morning (at 6:30...YEA!!!), she was absolutely fine for about 30 minutes, and then started complaining of nausea again.  However, like every other instance, once she saw the school bus coming, she was absolutely fine.  I have spoke with the teacher already, and have been assured she is doing wonderfully.  If nothing else, I don't want her to become a hypochondriac!  My main concern is the best way to handle the complaints of nausea, the sitting in front of the toilet (or asking for a bowl), every morning.  I am even more curious to see if this behavior continues over the weekend.  I appreciate your comments!

[chris1019]

A related discussion, Anxiety start of school was started.