Anxiety in my four year old

My soon to be four year old daughter has slowly over this past year become more anxious and frightened of more things.

She and her twin sister both attend fullday preschool during the school year, then are off over the whole summer (I'm a full time teacher)

My daughter has gone from fearless to fearful.  She never really took to preschool.  She did well, but every day last year told me she had no friends and that she didn't want to go to school.  From my conversations with her teacher, she got along just fine with others and was not a behavior problem, but my daughter FEELS like she has no friends.

I did feel a little bit of a disconnect with her teacher-  I do not think her teacher knows what my child is "really" like or what she is really capable of, because my child is usually a little stressed while at school and unable to truly relax and be herself.

This school is a montessori preschool with degreed teachers and a terrific reputation.  Her teacher IS a good teacher, but I don't think my daughter has gotten very attached to her, and her teacher doesn't know her outside of the classroom, so it is hard for her to really "get" that there IS a problem.

She also has gone from enjoying halloween to being deathly afraid of anyone in a costume.

Tonight, she informed me that she does not want to attend preschool this coming school year.

I am concerned that she is getting such a negative connotation with school that this might be an indicator of problems down the road.

Her identical twin sister, LOVES school, is thriving in her classroom and does not share any of the same anxiety.

I could hire a nanny and let both of my kids stay home, but I don't think that is fair to my other daughter.  Also, I could put them in the same classroom to help minimize my child's fear of school in general.  Or, I could make her "grin and bear it" and just support her but keep everything the same.

I really am at a loss.I do not believe that mmy child's dislike of school has anything to do with seperation anxiety, I really think she just doesn't like it.

I'm a single mom, so staying home with me isn't an option either.

HELP!

[jdtm]

really am at a loss.I do not believe that mmy child's dislike of school has anything to do with seperation anxiety,  --  your words

Sounds more like social anxiety or GAD (generalized anxiety) to me.  Google the phrase "social anxiety and children" or "GAD and children" or "anxiety behaviors in children" to see if any of the descriptions remind you of your daughter.  I really do not see why the two sisters cannot be in the same classroom for the first few years in school (although with twins I do know it is wise to separate them at a later date).  And you are correct, I suspect your one daughter will never "like" school as well as your other daughter but that is not unusual (and as a teacher you must be aware that many of our students are not overly fond of school).  Hope this helps ....

[foursquare]

Thanks for responding.  I think you are right.

Other things I've observed are : constantly chewing on her hair, and now whe have a new fear of mannequins! Haven't been able to go to any store that has mannequins all summer.

Thank you for helping me zero in on the problem!

I am kicking myself for not being vocal about keeping them together.  I think sometimes when you're a teacher, you tend to worry about being "that parent" that complains!

I may try to get her into her sister's class and continue to monitor her stress level before determining whether she needs professional intervention or not.

Thank you!