Any advice for my daughter please?

[rutherc]

I have struggled with OCD/depression and compulsive skin picking for many years. The picking is somewhat under control, my OCD and depression I am working on. My daughter is 6 (will be 7 in September). Her doctor has diagnosed her with OCD and psychosomatic disorder. Not surprising after having a mother like me. They are making an appt with a child psychiatrist. I know OCD is a disease, but if saddens me so much that she is suffering because I passed this "disease" on to her. He said most children go through OCD like stages, but when the OCD can be harmful then treatment is necessary (as in her case, she had taken finger nail clippers and peeled the skin off the bottom of her feet and when I asked why she did it, she just said she wanted to, that she liked it). I asked him if he had ever seen anything like that before and he said not in a child that young. She still has little purple scars on her arms from a bad skin picking episode last summer. It embarrasses her when the kids ask what those spots are.

What I have read about childhood OCD stated that OCD is a chemical imbalance (which I already knew) and can worsen by triggers (I knew that too). In a child, they listed several things which can lead to an OCD behavior. These relate to her.

* birth of a sibling (brother is 6 months old)

* divorce (we almost did, seperated for 6 months, altho that has been awhile, I think it affected her greatly)

* strep infection (I was surprised by this, and yes she had strep about a month ago)

Article also said..
* this illness is sensitive to stress (well, of course it is and she has stress in her entire daily life, who doesn't?)

I would appreciated any information, advice, comments etc. that could help.

Thanks

[RockRose]

Ruth,  what a comment,  "Not surprising after having a mother like me."  God bless you,  if she does have these disorders, it  sounds like you will be the best help for her.  You understand her,  and love her,  and see her clearly.  Some parents hate the children who are like them,  you seem to totally "get" this.  

We're all approximations on the mean.  We all have a load of grief and sadness to carry,  at one point or another,  and this is yours.  It sounds like with your support and understanding she will get lots of help.

Best wishes,  I really understand what you are saying.

[Cleveland Mom]

RockRose, beautiful post...  Please don't guilt trip yourself.  You do understand what your dtr. is dealing with and you are in a special position to help her and nurture her.  You may find that you experience much personal and spiritual growth as you love and guide you precious little girl.  As RockRose wrote, none of us are perfect we all have our gifts and our faults and foibles, all of us.  I hope that you can help your girl find the beauty and the gifts despite her challenges.  Best wishes...

[koukla29]

I agree with the above posters - you are really in a position to help your daughter with the love and empathy that noone else can give her.  Yes, OCD has been linked to a chemical imbalance.  Medications such as antidepressants can help with dealing with the triggers and the anxiety.  Maybe this is something you can discuss with her doctor in further detail.  

In addition, it might be a good idea to keep the clippers (and other items she may try to use that are dangerous) hidden from your daughter.  This might not stop her from continuing to handle her compulsions, however, you are limiting her access to dangerous objects.

I think you will be able to understand your daughter in a way that will be so positive for her in life:)    Best wishes

[anxiousmomtobe?]

Hang in there, my friend.  Stop beating yourself up.  You have nothing to feel guilty about, and your own struggles enable you to parent your daughter through her difficulties.