Bad Boy

My son will be three in June He is very very hyper and defiant. He refuses to potty. Help!!

[specialmom]

Hi.  I can't lie, the title of your post is a little upsetting to me.  Many three year olds are challenging as that is what they are supposed to do.  They challenge the boundaries and you lovingly show them where they are.

The average age for boys to be potty trained is 3.5.  Be patient and don't look at him as bad if he isn't ready.  good luck

[adgal]

I also have to say that the title is worrisome.  He is not a bad boy, he is a 3 year old boy.  I have a 2 year old that is also very very busy...in constant motion as we like to say.  And he too will defy us..not because he is bad, but because he is learning.  Remember that toddlers are almost programmed to push boundaries and see what they can get away with.  It's how they learn, and much of what they learn comes from how you react.  Stay calm with him.  I find that avoiding raising my voice and speaking calmly and firmly makes a big difference.  And try to pick your battles.  Don't be upset for him being hyper...that's how normal healthy toddlers (especially boy's I think) are.  As for potty training...as Specialmom said, it will come.  Back away from pushing him and just leave it alone for a while.  Let him take the lead and encourage him without pushing him.  It will come.

Best of luck to you!

[AnnieBrooke]

Put him into pullups and back off for at least a couple of months if not longer.  He is not being defiant, he is simply not ready.  My son didn't poop reliably in the toilet until 3 1/2, nor pee reliably in the toilet until after age 4.  Don't listen to your friends who brag that their child was toilet trained at 1 1/2, a  lot of them are fibbing and others have used methods to bring this about that cause problems in the child later.  Especially if your son has no bigger brother around to emulate, (and especially if he is smart, says my pediatrician), it can just take a while.

[mcclure223]

I hear Ya! I took the title as a joke. My son was very resistant to potty training n believe me I tried it all...potty prize bag, sticker chart, prize chart, movies, books, songs, potty bootcamp book,even tried time outs. I got nothing..then almost a year later, few months after his 1st bday he came home from preschool n wanted to use the potty. He did it himself in less than a week. My son has his own agenda n did it on his terms! Relax n encourage only advise I have. Good luck

[ku111]

No big deal!  Just let him go in potty when he wants and ignore when he doesn't.  My second son took much longer than the first.  Just different kids.  I also did rewards and kept them in the bathroom.  I did stickers that he picked out.  Worked good sometimes and didn't others.  He finally decided the stickers were pretty cool every time.  He's fine.  Even if he thought about it part way through and tinkled a little I said did you remember about your sticker but pottied a little?  He'd say yep.  I'd laugh and say get your sticker for remembering.  Don't sweat the small stuff.  He's fine.  Goodluck!

[margypops]

I also think leaving him alone to go in and out make work, sometimes over attention to an issue deosnt work and backing off does , too much pressure often creates more of a problem, I like the sticker reward system ..good luck

[darknscary]

Try teaching him to change his own diaper.....