Bedtime Anxiety

Our 3 1/2 year old daughter has started showing signs of 'seperation anxiety' if thats what you can call it when going to bed at night.

She is a strong but good natured only child.  I am a SAHM and she has all of my attentions during the day.  We are currently hosting two male exchange students.

She attends a pre-school 2x per week.

She has slept through the night at 10 weeks and we have never looked back.

Now she wants us to stay with her in her bed  until she falls asleep, or she tends not to get to sleep until very late.  Or she won't want either one of us to go out again after dinner.

This is quite confusing and unsual for her and us!

There have been a couple of changes to her pre-school sessions and concern over the behaviour of several others in the new session.

I am trying to ask myself what else had changed, or whether this is a phase or what.

She seems quite genuine.

What am I missing?

Many thanks
Natasha, NZ

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Natasha,

It's not unusual for children to experience stretches of anxiety such as your daughter is experiencing. It sounds to me like this is more develomental in nature, rather than symptomatic of distress or unsettledness in her life. The key to responding to it is to be quietly reassuring and supportive, without altering the ususal routine (e.g., without taking her into your bed, without staying with her until she falls asleep, without refraining from going out). She will gradually revert to her baseline behavior.

[Natasha]

Many thanks Cindy and Phil- its great to have a listening ear (and so fast!).  All any of us want to do is the best for our children, isn't it!