Behavior issue in 5 year old boy

[jallee623]

My son turned 5 in August and seems to be having a repeated problem in his daycare.  During the spring of 2007 his daycare teacher called me at work to discuss that my son pulled his pants down and showed a little girl his "boy parts" and the little girl pulled her pants down and showed her "girl parts".  My husband and  I talked to our then 4 year old son about this behavior and how it isn't appropriate, and chalked it up to curious little kids.  It occurred again a few weeks later, a stronger talk was given with a consequence of no cartoons when he got home that evening.  I didn't have another problem with it again...until recently.  In the Fall of 2007, he started a new school within the school district specializing in children who miss the Kindergarden cut-off.  It is a great opportunity for him because only 30 children get accepted into this program.  About a month after he started, his teacher mentioned in passing to me that Braden and a couple of the other boys in his class were caught pulling down there pants and showing their underwear...I was upset, but relieved that at least the underwear stayed up this time.  My husband and I talked to our son again about this behavior,  but didn't dwell on it.  Then 10 days ago, she mentions to me that the behavior happened again, and he is no longer allowed to go into the club houses...which is where this behavior takes place on the playground.  Our son had the privledge of playing outside taken away from him after a more stern conversation.  This afternoon, I received yet another phone call from his teacher at work.  This time, he didn't pull down his pants and show off his underwear, but instead he asked two of his classmates (little girls) to pull down their pants and show him their underwear.  This is the first time that little girls have been involved.  I am at a loss of what to do with this behavior.  I am trying to figure out the best consequence for this repeated behavior, and to figure out where this is coming from!  My husband wants to take away his school Halloween party and trick or treating tomorrow, along with him not going outside to play after school for the rest of the week.  I want to know if this is over doing it, and why he seems to be obsessed with pulling down his pants or getting others to do it.  He is on the verge of getting his recess time outside completely pulled from him at school.  Please help me understand what is going on, and what is the best way to go about punishing him for it.  Thanks so much!

[denad]

Dear Jallee,

Sorry to hear of your troubles but have just spent hours (and I mean hours) talking to people and researching on line as I had my first incident with my 5 year old son today.  Part of it does appear to be normal behavior but what i have been told is to inquire and start to discuss WHY its inappropriate during normal routine such as bath time and getting dressed as opposed to just reacting to it when it happens.  Hope this helps.