Behavior problems

[sweetie5155]

My brother and his soon to be X wife are separated...she is Narcasassitic (spelling), she has moved her boyfriend in with her, she has more or less put my nephew on the back burner, gave 2 of her 3 girls back to the father, which the situation there with her father is not very positive either., she was staying out all night when she and my brother were together...the 16 yr old daughter chooses to stay with her mother because the mother allows her to smoke, and let's the daughters boyfriend "live with them" so you know what goes on when mama's not there. Anyway, we have seen some changes in my 5 yr old nephew, he is beginning to wet his pants, acting like he is smoking, and drinking beer,and now he has just started cussing. I don't know what to do to help my brother out...I don't want to step on his toes per se' any advice would be greatly appreicated. My nephew is very defiant to his dad and me telling us we are stupid, hitting on the cats we have.

[specialmom]

OH boy, trouble is ahead, I'm afraid.  This is just the begining unless someone intervenes.  Can your brother raise this boy?  This mother sounds like she probably wouldn't mind turning him over.  I'd consider the possiblity and whenever he is with his dad (and you sound very wise, so maybe he can spend some time with you)----  he should make it as calm as possible as this boy's life sounds chaotic.  He needs rules when he is with you (and he is 5-----  why is he already so defiant?) guys-----  no violence or name calling with consequences for such behavior such as taking away a favorite thing he likes to do.  He'll be mad but if this is tempered with lots of praise, attention and rewards, he'll be much happier in the long run.  I'd give him as much posative attention as possible.  It is hard on a kid when his parents divorce---- and when you have an irresponsible parent, it's very sad.  Good luck and the best to all of you.