Biting in Daycare for over a year by one child

[TK]

Hello, recently I have been very worried about this persistant biter in my daughter's daycare class. He is a boy now only two weeks shy of 3 years old. He started biting in school about 14 months ago, on the average of about several times a week. In his worst period (last summer) he would bite everyday. The school is very understanding and trying hard, like shadowing, positive attention, or timeout. But the boy just doesn't show any sign of improvement. Recently I witnessed him biting another kid, it was a very disturbing scene to watch, he basically snatched the toy away from the other kid, smacked him in the face, then grabbed that boy's arm and took a full-month bite on his lower arm. He also hits, pinches, with an unhappy look on his face. Especially now that he is older, his bite is worse, and often breaks the skin to cause a health issue. My biggest concern is my daughter was one of the many victims in the class, she was biten three times already for the period of three months. Knowing that there is such a biter in the class and biting happens all the time for over a year, I wonder what more can be done to protect the welfare of the other kids in the class. While we may have to let his development run its course, all the other kids, including my daughter, are not there to be biten, am I right? --- A very worried mom.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

This is a long time for such behavior to occur, particularly if there is sound limit setting occurring in the school. It seems the choice is clear: either structure the arrangements in such a way that the child literally is not able to bite others, or remove him to insure the safety of the other children. The overarching responsibility of schools and pre-schools is to offer a safe environment for the group, and then to proceed with as much individualized programming as is reasonable. But it is not reasonable to jeopardize the basic physical safety of the group to the needs of an individual child. The little boy may have needs beyond what the pre-school program can provide, which is by no means a criticism of the program. There are simply limitations sometimes.

[Confused mom of a 2 year old]

In my case I have the child who at daycare likes to bite.  I'm not too sure why in the past I have had a few situations where I had to leave work to pick him up.  It stop for a while a few months just recently ( the past 2 days) He decided to bite again 2 kids and the teacher.  This happen 2 days in a row.  I'm not to sure on what to do.  I try many things telling him that its wrong trying to talk to him, time outs, lemon, even bitting him to show him that it hurts.  He was also always bit when he first went into the one year class now he is in the two year old room and bitting.  I'm not sure what to say.  but I understand how you feel.  As a mother you want the best first your child.  I try so hard to make him understand that its  not nice to bite.  I understand what you are going through as the victim and as the the biter.  It's hard in both situation.

[JoAnne Cast]

On the other end of the scale - I am a child care center director.  I wonder why this child has been biting so long? Biting in the child care center setting is typical, and problematic but a short-lived behavior when handled effectively.  By effectively, I mean that its different for all children, for some a simple "no" and look of disapproval a few times works, others may need safe time alone or followed by alone time.  Either way, the message has to be very clear "I will not allow you to hurt others in this classroom". It raises health issues and a safety risk for the others in the group.  However, biting for over a year is not typical and I would agree that perhaps this program cannot meet the child's needs (ditto:  no criticsm of the program).  I think the program is not meeting the health and safety need of the other children in the group as well - alternative childcare for the biter sounds inevitable.  If not, maybe you'll have to look elsewhere.  Good Luck

[Keegan]

Hi. I work in a daycare and that is a big pain about that child always biting.  Some of the daycare's have told the parents of the biter to go else where.  There may be a need for more teachers in your daughters room if the ratio is a bit high.  If there are 2 teachers with 15 kids at your daughter's age then you may ask if they could put one more teacher's assistant in the room.  This is a tough issue.  I hope his parents are talking to him about his behavior.  Is this child daycared full time?  It just seems like alot of children act this way here and there and they need one on one attention which is very hard to give.  We have kids who hit, bite etc.  We take away their  show n' tell, etc.  And they sit for 3 minutes which is a lifetime to them, if they  are 3 it's 3 minutes and so forth.  But, we tell the parents.  It is hard. Because, some days you don't feel like telling the parents because, that's all you feel your doing is telling how their child misbehaved everyday.We tell the child you can bite on food but, not your friend.  Do you want your friend to bite you?  We will have to take your friend to the doctor's if you bite them.  Take it easy.