Bowel Movement in Pants

My child is 10 years old and still poops in his pants just about everyday, sometimes twice a day.  He also lies about it.  I punish him for this and lying but nothing does any good.  I am so frustrated and I don't know what do do.  Please help.


This discussion is related to DO YOU OUTGROW SOILING YOUR PANTS AT 7 YRS OLD?.

[margypops]

Is this simply soiling as if he is not wiping himself properly or do you mean actually going into his pants?At school aswell??  There could be an emotional issue going on, rather than punishment find out why he is doing it, at 10years old there is a reason.

[khart]

No it is more that not wiping properly.  I have tried to talk to him many times (almost daily) but all I ever get is "I don't know".  I went in the bathroom after he got a shower last night and their was pieces all over the bathrub.  It seems to me that he just doesn't want to take the time to go.  

[margypops]

Seems you have to speak to him strongly and tell him it is not permitted to do this,could he be constipated as he is going in bits'make him clean up any mess but persist in finding out an answer, and as I asked previosly does he do this at school?

[mybabies1999]

This doesn't sound right. At 10 years old? You havent' spoken to anyone all this time? He says he doesn't know, because he doesn't know why. He isn't a therapist or a physician. I think there is an anxiety of some sort causing this, but it isn't normal at 10 to be doing this in your pants or in the bath tub and on a daily basis. does he only do this at home?

[khart]

No, it is not normal.  I have spoken to his doctor many times.  I have an appoitment set up for this coming Tuesday.  My son cried when I told him he has a doctor's appt. regarding this issue and promised not to do it anymore but he promises all the time and the next day he does it again.  He said he wouldn't talk to the doctor and I said you don't talk to me either.  He told me he just doesn't like to go to the bathroom; he doesn't like to stop what he is doing and go.  To answer your other question he doesn't just do this at home.  I do make him clean up his underwear and messes.

[babygirl6152]

Pardon me, but is he mentally challenged? What other odd things are going on your lives? Divorce? Hates school? Sibling trouble?

sounds like control issue- and that is emotional- good luck. Interested in what the Dr advises- Hang in there mom

[Bettyboop4papa]

One of my nephews did the same thing but also would wet pants until he was about 11 1/2 and he just quit... the doc said it was due to he was a preemie baby and that this can sometimes be a long term effect and just do your best not to make him feel bad about it because then it would become worse from a complex.. once she started ignoring it and just helping him if he needed it it resolved shortly after...

[althepal39]

He probably has ENCROPESIS.  Look it up on google - Don't punish him - at 10 years old there is no reason in the world he would WANT to do this.. he can't help it!

[terriebear]

Just wondering is he at his grade level at school ? or have ADD or anyother health or mental problems ? A child I look after ia almost 11 and poops his pants and we dont get it we are doing everything we can and nothing helps and the mother is so done with it so Im trying to get to the problem

[dimdung]

My 7and 1/2yrs old son poops only once in 4 to 6days and poops huge and big in diameter. I give him livoluk and sorbiline but still no improvement. So please help me what I can do for that.

[NCOrentRN]

I would first rule out any medical problems that might be occurring. Then possibly explore the emotional issues. Any pediatric physician should be able to help you.

[confusedmom995]

Since my son was 4 years old, he has been pooping in his pants two and three times daily. He is now 71/2 years old. We have been to two specialists and a behavior therapist. He took on myralax for daily for 1 year, we used behavior charts, we punished, we prayed and we cried. We still do not have answers. Please help me help my child. He is very intellegent, ranked in the top 10 in his class, he does have ADHD and is on medication. I would appreciate any advice available.

[geegee117]

I have worked in the school system for 22 years and have seen two boys, one in 4th and one in 5th, sit in the classroom and poop in their pants.  It wasn't everyday.  I think it was a control issue.  They like watching the teacher stop class and fiqure  out what to do.  Neither boy told anyone.  The teacher found out due to smell.  I would love to know the outcome of these boys.  My guess is they stopped.  Maybe this is a attention getter for your son.  Bad attention is still attention  and children crave any attention.  I think you are very right to seek the help of a doctor and don't stop until you find the reason for this.  God bless.

[Autistic4Life]

Not meen to post too much, but i werked reely hard on getting all the werdz, an koodnt find much way to shorten it an still haz the fullness of it.... so to want to help i will post each piece of the textz cuz of comment long blocker on here.... But i still want to offer help if i kanz....

[Autistic4Life]

IF ITZ NOT PHYSICAL AND DOCTORZ KANT FIND OUT WHY: Maybe.....

This message frum the other side of this problum kood bring sum lite....  Reeding these postz haz made me feel sorry for Mommy too.... i haz had a long an complicated life, an waznt even diagnosed with Autism Syndrome Disorder until age 13!!  Potty-training waz a Huge struggle for Mommy, and finally got it befor my fifth birthday, still had problumz with wetting day an nite sporadically throughout those yearz.... Sumthing changed at age 8 tho....  i waz over at Friendz house an hiz baby sister pooped her pantz rite next to me, an after hearing it i koodnt stop thinking about it.... i entertained the idea of me doing the same thing, pooping waz sumthing never befor a problum, and wen i thought about it, my heart wood race and beat reely hard.... Without knowing it i developed a young taste for adrenaline chemicalz inside my body, and eventually the thoughtz didnt spark it enuf.... so i started taking actionz, (actually pooping in my pantz for reel) and over time i had to keep increasing the riskz, to get the adrenaline fix i craved so much!!  So it led to me pooping my pantz while playing, then at home, at nite even, an then frum there at skool, an then storez, an then even family placez.... and everywhere!!!!  In order to refill the adrenaline fix over time i had to increase the risk higher an higher!!!!  i didnt even know wat adrenaline waz, but my heart wood pound soooo hard wen i wood do the action on purpose in public, and i waz flooded with adrenaline chemicalz, to the point i had bekum drug addict, an not knowed it!!!!  Well, herez sumthingz most peoplez not think of, and Autism Syndrome Disorder can give a different look of for u: The computer iz like the brain, it can create and store programz, and auto-run programz, even background taskz, just like a computer doez!!  i will explain how.... after so much time go by i bekamed unable to stop myself frum going potty in my pantz!!  And now older i figured out how.... i had purposely made myself poop my pantz, and the mor i did it, the mor comfortable i got doing it, at home especially, i got it to the point of my first response to the urge waz to go rite away with no hesitation at all.... So this iz wat happened.... i trained my brain to go poop at first sense to go, and my brain built a program to do that itself.... so once that program waz built, my brain began automatically pooping at the first need to!!!!  This mite help.... how often do u think about ur feet every day??  How many steps do u take without even paying any attention??  U koodnt even count ur stepz, or know wat u stepped on most of the time.... IF u keep pooping on urself all the time and ur brain developes an auto-program to take care of that without any need of thought... after a while u fail to even notice that event taking place!!  U kan bekum so accustomed to it, u dont even smell it, who does smell their own poop??  So it kan happen to drop frum actual focus everything involved in pooping pantz, becuz itz sumthing that requirez no thought, and warrantz no attention, and so it bekumz like ur feet, u dont even pay any attention at all most of the time....  Over time the senses kood even dull out, az it iz no longer a matter of concern to the brain, the whole event kan happen without any need to pay any attention at all.... to the point that the childz kood bekum so familured to the eventz and not even notice the aftermath, it kan sumtimez reach the level of breathing, u stop thinking about it, cuz u dont haz to, so u totally forget itz there, bekum oblivious over time even!!!!  The longer the problum goez on, the mor the child adjusts to it, and the mor the brain takez away focus of that situation, and that kan explain why the childz doesnt even acknowledge wat theyve done.... az i waz saying, try to keep constant track of ur feet all day every single moment, eventually ull lose track of them an the brain will take over running itz auto-program!!  A child kood haz no accidentz while paying attention, but lose focus and the brain will run the auto-program and poop in theyr pantz without any thought at all!!

[Autistic4Life]

AND thatz a very scary knowing, if ur childz haz bekum that way, why didnt doctorz address that, why didnt help with reprograming the brain.... U kant just give orderz, the brain memorizes motionz, U haz to take them thro the proper motionz, the same u wood a 2 year old, to train theyr brain to memorize the correct actionz to take wen receiving the urge!!!!  Explain to them that another boy or person, depending, haz given advice frum being in the same situation and fully understandz Everything, and they kan even reed, and see that i admit; i done it on purpose at the beginning, but lost control in the middle, and spirawled into helplessness in the end!!!!  Let them reed the werdz themselvez, and know that IF they dont let Mommy reprogram theyr brain, and retrain theyr brain to auto-use the potty, they will not stop having accidents for the rest of theyr life!!!!!!  Eventually they will be forced to wear big baby diaperz, and the problum will get worse and worse, until they bekum just like babiez and need constant diaper changing!!!!  IF they let that happen, they wont get GurlFriendz or BoyFriendz, and be very very embaressed in high skool!!  IF they end up needing diaperz they may be sent to the disabilitied kidz skool, and be changed publicaly like all the other mental handicap children!!!!  IF ur childrenz dont fix this problum it will get worse an worse an worse; and they will haz to go to disabilitied kidz skool, and teacherz change disabled kidz the same way babiez get changed, in the classroom on the floor in front of the other kidz!!!!!!  Ur kidz haz to let u retrain them, not just theyr intellect tho, talking about the brain itself, the unconscious, unaware control of theyr body, without retraining that, everytime they stop paying attention, theyr able to have an incident, at any time of day, and in high skool, where they dont put up with it, and send child to the handicapped class.... so itz theyr choice.... let Mommy train theyr brain to automatically use the potty, or face the unhappy future of life trapped in big baby diaperz, and being treated just like baby!!!!  This mite be watz missing in the solution to this.... IF doctorz tell u there iz nothing physically wrong, then u know they done it on purpose to begin with, and mor likely like me waz they tried to take control of sumthing that instead took control of them!!  U shood never ever mess with Godz design, bad thingz alwayz happen wen peoplez do that!!

So u see how much complex the problum kan be.... it kan be physical, mental, and bad behavior all at the same time!!!!  The KEY for this page iz to inform parentz befor it bekumz chronic, while the childz still haz control of it, and can stop it themselvez; dont let the brain develope a program through repeated behavior that slowly takez the child out of control of themselvez, and leadz to a mess of an ordeal!!!!

[Autistic4Life]

#1:
OK, frum personal experience - One Way U kood treet the not-medical-part of the problum.... Pick a time wen the childz iz at theyr worst (they have pooped pantz theyr currently wearing), try to make confrontation in theyr room, U go in an sit on theyr bed, an say; "Only One time i will do this, Cuz i want u to know that i Luv u mor than anything.... i will let u kome an sit in Mommyz lap, cuz i reely need to talk to u about sum very very important thingz that haz to do with ur future...."  sacrifice on ur part; Tell them how much u Luv them an accept them, an all the wonderful plan ideaz u haz for them.... make it very very very comforting for childz!!

Part Two: After u haz them comforted an open to hearing, gotta haz them open to hearing first: Then u begin explaining to them all the bad thingz that kan happen to them if they dont fix theyr problum, i.e. they kood be forced to wear baby diaperz, haz to go handicapped skool classes an be treated like a baby an not be able to make it end ever, cuz itz too late then!!!! Or the authoritiez kood take them away frum home an haz them put into a institution where they will haz no TV, no Video Gamez, no Friendz, an they kant go outside, just a bed an diaperz an nurses that change them an treet them like a baby, an doctorz that constantly treet them with medicinez.... either way, if this problum isnt fixed they will end up all alone, by theyself an be trapped in the problum forever!!!!

Wen u haz explained all the bad thingz that will happen if they dont stop, Then u make sur u haz theyr full attention with eyez, an tell them everytime u *know* they did it on purpose, put every time in theyr face, an remind them that u Luv them, an the planz u haz for theyr life, an the horrorz that awaitz them if they dont stop aiding the problum.... u explain that u understand it iz a physical problum, but u also understand that they r aiding the problum and allowing it to go on and making the problum get worser an worser; an state again every time u caught them doing it on purpose!!

Part Three: U explain to childz that becuz they let this happen, they haz trained theyr brain to do it; explaining how u trained theyr brain to use the toilet, an how they haz allowed theyr brain to be trained now to use theyr pantz.... Then u explain that they HAZ to be retrained to use the toilet again!!  An explain fully to theyr knowing that they HAZ to make the decision to make the problum better, if they dont chose to make it better, then they will end up in very very bad placez becuz of it, reeely bad thingz will happen if they dont choose to fix the problum, by pooping in theyr pantz on purpose wen they haz the chance to use the toilet, an they ignor it an let the problum get worser by using theyr pantz on purpose; cuz sumtimez itz an accident, but sumtimez itz on purpose.... an every time they do it on purpose, they make the problum worser an worser!!!!

[Autistic4Life]

#2: (Continued)
So u tell them, every time u haz an urge to go u get az fast az u can to a toilet an sit on it, even if u already went in ur pantz, sit down on the toilet an picture in ur imagination that u r using the toilet.... fully explain over an over how they HAZ to retrain theyr brain, an that iz why they keep having accidentz, they haz taught theyr brain to use theyr pantz for too long, and itz time to stop it, befor it goez too far and Everyone will be sad and upset, especially if they get taken away an put into institution!!!!  Itz time to get to the hard factz and the harsh reality of where this iz heading!!!!  Put it in theyr face, an make them swallow it!!!!

If they pooped in theyr pantz, if possible, they haz to remove them an put the poop into the toilet, let theyr brain see the correct behaviorz, and keep performing the correct behaviorz over an over an over; keep hard on them, an get skool teacherz to do the same thing, make sur they r on the toilet if they haz poop, make sur they put the poop out of theyr pantz an into the toilet where it belongz.... an scrubb reeely well with antibacterial cleaner after!!!! By repeating correct behaviorz repetitiously whether they even want to or not, theyr brain will memorize those behaviorz; and to break them the child would haz to intentionally make themselvez do the wrong behaviorz!!  At this point sum material a child kood understand wood be great to show them the true factz about germz, and the true reality of why poop iz sooooo disgusting!!!!

Part Four: Iz to keep doing the corrective training for four straight weekz, non-stop!!  Meanwhile, in order to break the childz out of theyr tiny bubble world- Fully explain to them: The following eventz r not for rewardz, they r specifically to show them that there iz mor out in the world: And take them to i.e. amusement parkz, or camping, or special fun places.... While ur there handle any situationz the same u wood a toddler, just deal with them, get them cleaned an done with az quickly az possible, u may even use a long explaining talk an then allow them to use a pull-up just for that time ONLY!!  Becuz u WANT them to be *fully* focused an engaged in seeing an experiencing other activitiez, an to show them that there iz much mor to the world, then theyr tiny lil universe!!  i wood highly recomend the explaining talk an use of pull-upz, so that they r not even thinking about theyr small universe at all, an u shood take kare of checking of them, but not too often, an not too big of deal: U WANT them 100% engaged into the new experiencez.... U WANT them to stop being entirely focused in a world of the problum!!!!

Part Five: Uve reached that point of Trust, Uve found a way specific to Ur Childz that u haz formed a close bound with them; now u werk with them, encouraging them with the good behavior, not for rewardz tho =/  Becuz u Luv them an want the Best for them; never focus on the negative, once u haz a tight bond there, u will find the ability to just talk with them about theyr problum, they may even eventually explain why an how they started it.... Ur role frum then on iz to keep encouraging them, no matter how bad they relapse; keep reminding them the harsh reality ahead, an the better life away frum that.... keep doing the out of the routine FUN, an letting them be in pull-upz during those timez, so the thing that seemz like the whole universe to them getz pushed to the very back, an kan be dealt with very swiftly an quickly!!!  Only a parent who iz a Friend, and an Understanding Mentor kan help the childz let go of the tiny known universe an venture out into the unknown world beyond!!!

[Autistic4Life]

#3: (Continued)
So i emphatically stress!!!!  Dont sweat the problum, remain focused on the solution, the encouragement, an create an maintain a close tight bond with the childz; the problum may go an kome back; it kood kome back jus bad az at the first, BUT Parent HAZ to remain firm: keep leading them towardz another future, get theyr focus off of the problum; make this issue the same az tying shoe stringz... wen it needz to be handled, u handle it, wen itz done itz done, u dont mention it anymor throughout the day; U haz set timez to talk about it, affirming the child that u iz with them, an u Luv them an want to help them haz the Best life possible!!!  *Any problum that bekomez the ONLY known universe around sumone, totally immersed in it, will take over theyr whole life an block out anything else in the rest of the world*!!!! ;)  Thatz a Fact!!!!

Show the problum that u mean business, itz not gonna haz ur childz, an kick that stupid problum out of the house, an replace it with positive thingz.... then deal with the minor situationz with ur child in a healthy an take-kare-of-it way!!  Az soon az they start to stumble, u wanna rush in with positive encouragement; ask them wat they mite want u to do to help them.... take theyr feedback an act on it if itz a well-to-do idea, for example a child may say, "Wen at home, Mommy, kan u remind me certain timez to get up an go sit on the toilet, that way ill get used to it again, cuz i forgot how to do that."  U put the rest of the world in frunt of the childz, an like i said deal with theyr problum the same u wood handle shoe string tying, eventually a child leanrz shoe string tying, itz no big deal.... proper training and affirmation will kure the short-komingz, an that will kure the problum!!!  Just Take It Step By Step; Expect Pitt Fallz, Expect Sum Relapses, Stay Focused On The Prize: Ur Childz Health An Brite Future; And Deal With The Set Backz Az Important To Address, But At Same Time In A "No Biggie, We Kan Resolve This" Attitude ....

Position Urself Az Ur Childz Team Coach, U Want Them To Win, Ur Theyr To Help Them Win, Let Them Know That Ur Theyr To Help Them .... Accept Ur Child, And *Show* That By Respectfully Listening To Theyr Obserd Reesonz For This Situtation, And *Kindly* Talking Them Thro Much Better Alternativez Beyond The Situation!!!  ***Never Ever Correct A Childz Openess About A Bad Behavior*** U Will Kut Them Off And Shut Them Down; Simply Hand Them Better Alternativez To The Bad Behavior, And In That U Will Gain Theyr Trust And Theyr Respect, And They Will Open Up Mor An Mor!!!

Wat u will most likely eventually find iz that this situation iz a very very bizarre obsession, and requirez the firm an focused kuring of it that a drug addict requirez to get off drugz, an it also tendz to haz a few hard relapses befor the person getz out of theyr obsession of it!!  An that iz why u Must approach it frum a Luving an Karing an Accepting role to the child- Luv the child, and wean them away frum theyr obsession!!!  It must be dealt with respectfully so that u haz the childz on ur side, and then it must be replaced with sumthing positive.... pull the childz away frum it and get rid of it completely, so they kan start focusing other thingz, an move on frum all of it; then let it fall off a cliff into the forgotten past!!!!

IF U LUV UR CHILDZ, TRULY LUV UR CHILDZ, THIS WILLWERK IN THE LONG RUN, THEY KAN ACHIEVE TOTAL FREEDOM!!! =D  ~ONE TINY PATIENT STEP AT A TIME~

[Hydeto]

When I was a little baby, I have soiled my pants all the way until I was 9 years old without ever having a chance to be toilet trained when I was a baby up until my parents took me to a specialist when I was 9 years old. I was hospitaled for a week and a half.  They gave me alot of enemas and had to clean me out. I was also in special ed.  would being slow have anything to do with a bowel problem.