Boys playing doctor

I caught my son(8yrs) in the bathroom with his friend(9yrs) at 3:30a.m. with no underware on. They were having a sleepover. When I asked what they were doing only one replied and said they didnt know where the other child was.  When the friend came out of the bathroom I asked where his underware was, he said he was hot.  Then my son came out behind the shower curtain with just his t-shirt on, I asked him the same question and got the same responce.  I seperated them and talked to my son about what they were doing, it took a little prying but he told me they kissed, sucked and licked eachothers penis's,licked anus's and rubbed butts, not to mention dry humped.  I asked why and got a shoulder shrug.  I am plannin on telling the boys parents first thing in the a.m. but I dont know how I should handle this with my son.  I am so sick to my stomach and dont know what to do or say about this. should he get punished, should I let him play with that boy again? I need help.  Is all this sexual behavior normal between two little boys?  Thank you.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

The behavior you describe is not within the normal spectrum. It is not unusual for young children to be curious about their bodies and to undress and look at and touch each other's body. But your son and his friend are older than would be expected for such curiosity, and the sexulaized behavior they displayed is not what you'd expect in younger children. In fact, the simulation of sexual acts that your son and his friend displayed indicates some exposure, either in real life or via pictures, video, movie, etc. to similar behavior. It doesn't occur to children to act in such sexualized ways spontaneously. Be sure to talk with your son about this and figure out how he came to know about such behavior. Also, stay calm - there's no need to make youself sick about this. In fact, if you can remain calm and reasoned, you'll make more progress than you will if you allow yourself to become emotional. There's no need to punish your son, but be sure to establish a clear and firm limit about undressing and touching (or allowing himself to be touched).

[ksikora]

My daughter is 4yrs old and plays with alittle boy who is the same age.Yesterday I caught him laying on top of her with his shirt pulled up and her shirt pulled up and hidding under a blanket.....My hasband and I do not like this and worry if this is something that's needs to be addressed.