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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
Boys playing doctor
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
Boys playing doctor
by mikdee, Sep 19, 2004 12:00AM
I caught my son(8yrs) in the bathroom with his friend(9yrs) at 3:30a.m. with no underware on. They were having a sleepover. When I asked what they were doing only one replied and said they didnt know where the other child was. When the friend came out of the bathroom I asked where his underware was, he said he was hot. Then my son came out behind the shower curtain with just his t-shirt on, I asked him the same question and got the same responce. I seperated them and talked to my son about what they were doing, it took a little prying but he told me they kissed, sucked and licked eachothers penis's,licked anus's and rubbed butts, not to mention dry humped. I asked why and got a shoulder shrug. I am plannin on telling the boys parents first thing in the a.m. but I dont know how I should handle this with my son. I am so sick to my stomach and dont know what to do or say about this. should he get punished, should I let him play with that boy again? I need help. Is all this sexual behavior normal between two little boys? Thank you.
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Sep 19, 2004 12:00AM
, Sep 19, 2004 12:00AM
The behavior you describe is not within the normal spectrum. It is not unusual for young children to be curious about their bodies and to undress and look at and touch each other's body. But your son and his friend are older than would be expected for such curiosity, and the sexulaized behavior they displayed is not what you'd expect in younger children. In fact, the simulation of sexual acts that your son and his friend displayed indicates some exposure, either in real life or via pictures, video, movie, etc. to similar behavior. It doesn't occur to children to act in such sexualized ways spontaneously. Be sure to talk with your son about this and figure out how he came to know about such behavior. Also, stay calm - there's no need to make youself sick about this. In fact, if you can remain calm and reasoned, you'll make more progress than you will if you allow yourself to become emotional. There's no need to punish your son, but be sure to establish a clear and firm limit about undressing and touching (or allowing himself to be touched).
