CHANGE IN BEHAVIOR

[carien1975]

My 5 yr old daughter is very outspoken, strong personality, talks a lot and loves to play.  For the last 3 weeks, she has been quiet at school. Her teacher says she is in her own world.  Where she usually could do tasks easily and quick, she now has to stay behind and finish. I saw her at school today, and she looks kind of bored with everything, and thinking about other stuff (it looked like).  At home, this is not the case.  She seems angry at times, but her old self mostly.  I am a single parent. Her father left when she was a baby, and she has not seen or spoken to him since she was 2 yrs old.  Is this absond mindedness a stage she is going through or should I worry about something else.....  Please help!

[carien1975]

thanx for responding.  Yes, bedtime is 7:30pm and she gets up 6:30am in the morning. This is our routine.  She always has breakfast and her health is good.  I really hope this is just a phase.

[carien1975]

thanx for responding.  Intelectually?  She has a strong personality, and this quiet, absond mindedness is deffinately not her at school.  She is also a bit more clingy when I drop her off at school.  The teacher must take her from me and then she cries for a bit.  Not very much, but she doesn't want me to go.  This was not the case the whole year so far.  I hope this quiet and clingy thing, is just a fase....

[carien1975]

Ps.  She is my only child.  Just the 2 of us in the house.

[carien1975]

Thanx for responding. The "problem" is at school. She looks bored, and takes longer than usual to finish tasks. Like she is in her "own world", thinking of other things...  At home she is fine and her own self.  Her health is good, and I cannot see anything wrong with her moods or behavior at home.  Just at school.

[Sandman2]

   Are you in the Southern Hemisphere (Australia)?  Just wondered cause you said the year was almost over and we are just starting here.
   Anyway,  I can tell you from years of experience that a 5 year old is completely incapable of remembering bribes from home to do better in class.  Perhaps by about 3rd grade.  To punish her for something she did hours earlier (which she now has no memory of) is not good.  Believe me, as a retired elementary school principal who spent a lot of time in Kindergarten - at this age it is up to the teacher completely!  You can not snap her out of it unless you are in class with her.
    It may be that she is just bored with what is going on.  It may be that she has something like ADHD.  It may be that the two other kids distract her too much.   You really ought to pay a visit to the classroom to see how your daughter interacts and maybe more importantly how the teacher interacts with the kids.
    And my other question would be is she in the bottom groups because she doesn't finish her work on time or because she doesn't understand what is going on   (huge difference there).  
    If you do get a chance to visit her classroom, you might also want to visit the first grade classrooms and kind of scout out the teachers for next year.  And some of the things that you are doing at home should carry over to school.  It just won't happen overnight.    Hope this gives you food for thought.  Best wishes.

[soontob3]

I have this same problem. My 5 year old daughter was doing very well in school until the last few months. She is  now in the bottom groups in her class because she doesn't do her work in the allocated time. Her teacher says that  she should be in the top groups because she knows the work she should be doing, but she gets distracted too easily. When she sees the other kids playing after completing their work, she will finish it in a few minutes at a high standard, but we just don't know how to encourage her to do it when she is supposed to. We have given her an earlier bedtime, changed her diet, tried different discipline strategies, used reward charts, played time management games where we gave her a time limit to complete tasks... We have even bribed her with a horse! (I know it ridiculous but we were thinking about getting 1 anyway!) I honestly don't know what else to try. i don't know if it is just a phase that will pass, but I would like to try & snap her out of it, as I feel its been going on too long and she is falling into a routine.

There are 2 other children she gets distracted with &  I've told her to make it a race between the three of them to see who can finish their work first. This worked for the first day. I even got a phonecall from the teacher to say how impressed she was. She said she was like a whole new kid. However, the next day was a different story.

I hope you have a bit better luck with your daughter. The main reason I am so concerned  is because the year is nearly over & I would like her to have a good, fresh start to the new year. Good luck!

[soontob3]

I have this same problem. My 5 year old daughter was doing very well in school until the last few months. She is  now in the bottom groups in her class because she doesn't do her work in the allocated time. Her teacher says that  she should be in the top groups because she knows the work she should be doing, but she gets distracted too easily. When she sees the other kids playing after completing their work, she will finish it in a few minutes at a high standard, but we just don't know how to encourage her to do it when she is supposed to. We have given her an earlier bedtime, changed her diet, tried different discipline strategies, used reward charts, played time management games where we gave her a time limit to complete tasks... We have even bribed her with a horse! (I know it ridiculous but we were thinking about getting 1 anyway!) I honestly don't know what else to try. i don't know if it is just a phase that will pass, but I would like to try & snap her out of it, as I feel its been going on too long and she is falling into a routine.

There are 2 other children she gets distracted with &  I've told her to make it a race between the three of them to see who can finish their work first. This worked for the first day. I even got a phonecall from the teacher to say how impressed she was. She said she was like a whole new kid. However, the next day was a different story.

I hope you have a bit better luck with your daughter. The main reason I am so concerned  is because the year is nearly over & I would like her to have a good, fresh start to the new year. Good luck!

[Sandman2]

  I wondered if she was getting enough sleep at night.  Also a good breakfast is important.

[allmymarbles]

If she is in good health I would let her be. We all have moods and children are no different. She may be going through a development phase intellectually.

[margypops]

Is she the only child are there any siblings,how is she doing at school, does she get on well there?Many children chatter a lot and are outspoken ,its normal behavior..If you are concerned there maybe a problem I think its. aswell to take her to the doctor and see what he thinks ..good luck.