Can this boy be saved?

[Irma]

My husband has a 12 1/2 year old grandson that is out of control. He has been this way since he was quite young and no one seems to be getting him the help he needs.  He is disrespectful to everyone around him, hits his mom, pulls her hair, spits at her and outrightly defies her.  He also has calls his teacher nasty names, does not do schoolwork and is constantly getting into trouble in school. He has of late been stealing things and has no remorse when he gets caught.  Mom does nothing to punish him for his behavior.  He will not listen to anyone of authority and seems to want to please no one but himself. He has no respect for other peoples' things and takes whatever he wants. My husband has told his daughter that he does not want her to bring him to our house anymore until she gets a handle on him and teaches him to behave properly when he is here.  His behavior when he is here has been very stressfull to my husband and he wants no more of it.  I can't help but wonder if this was the right thing to do as far as the boy is concerned.  I am also a little fearfull when he comes to visit(lock our bedroom door at night) because of his behavior.  He can get very nasty sometimes.  Any suggestions or input will be appreciated. Is it too late at his age for councelling or some type of group home?

[kids-r-us]

Have you tried having him diagnosed with ADHD or to see if he is bi-polar?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Obviously the situation has become critical and the prognosis is not good. If your grandson is to improve, he will likely require a very structured, supervised group living situation, such as a residential treatment center. It is likely that, without intensive 24-hour/day intervention, he will become involved in antisocial behavior of a criminal sort at some point. It is not too late, but time is running short.