Child Behavior

[lord louis]

I am a singe Mom.  My daughter is 11-years old, a good student, has friends, and is frequently described as "a bright, nice, polite girl."  Over the past several months, we have had problems with her overall cleanliness, hygiene, and general apathetic attitude when it comes to cleaning up after herself and doing her few weekly chores.  When I recently discussed these with her pediatrician he attributed her "issues" to laziness.  He offered names of behavioral psychologists to try to help.  The issues I'm referring to include not cleaning up after herself; putting dirty underpants inside her dresser drawers, closets, etc.; shoving clothes that may or may not be dirty under her bed, behind furniture, on the floor of her closet -- instead of putting them in a dirty clothes hamper or folding and putting away where they belong; "forgetting" to clean her bathroom once per week (i.e. cleaning her shower, sink and vanity every Saturday morning); and not throwing away trash.  My daughter and I have had numerous discussions about these problems, but she can offer no explanation, nor has her behavior improved.  I have taken away computer privileges, left her up in her room to clean up instead of playing, indicated that I will not buy her any more new clothes until I see that she takes care of the ones she has, etc.  Nothing has worked.  Can you please offer any suggestions?  Any ideas as to why this has gone on for so long without change/improvement?  I would greatly appreciate any help you can offer.  Thank you!

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

You will be fine consulting with the Ph.D. You are correct in saying that a psychiatrist (and, in some jurisdictions, clinican nurse specialists) would prescribe medication, but the Ph.D. (likely a clinical psychologist) is equipped to diagnose and treat emotional disorders (including mood disorders, such as depression and bipolar disorder). If he/she thinks medication miht be useful, the medication consult can be arranged. Medication may not be recommended.

[lord louis]

I am scheduled for a 1-hour consultation with a Ph.D.  When you mentioned "clinician," and then "mood disorder" in your response to me I now worry that a Ph.D. may not be the type of "clinician" you recommended.  Can you please clarify if I would be best served by a mental health professional who is an MD?  I'm concerned because if this is the onset of a mood disorder, then wouldn't my child need to be prescribed medication?  An MD can prescribe medication and a Ph.D. cannot.  And what would be some of the mood disorders you refer to?  Please advise.  And THANK YOU so much for responding.
Lord Louis

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

It makes sense to follow up on the pediatrician's advice and confer with a clinician, but not solely for the purpose of approaching this behaviorally. Such change in behavior often occurs with the onset of early adolescence, but it can also indicate the onset of a mood disorder. So, I'd recommend an evaluation to (a) determine the nature of the behavior and (b) to make a plan to address it (even if, ultimately, the plan revolves around behavior management).

[babyprayers]

well she is 11.. Think back to when you were that age, did you do stupid things that your mom thought atroucios*SP, I know I did, my room was a disaster, my mom used to dump my whole dresser drawers in the middle of my floor then make me clean an even bigger mess. My daughter who is 9 is making me nuts, because now I am a neat freak and she is a slob, just keep after her, its got to be a constant thing, and let her know you mean business.