Child Being bitten at daycare - what is normal?

My child (19 months old) has been in daycare for the past 5 months.  During that time, she has been bitten 6 times.  Most recently, twice in one day.  Usually we receive a written "incident report" from the teachers if she is bitten.  This last time, they didn't even realize she had been bitten twice.  We discovered the bite marks (and broken skin) when we gave her a bath that evening.  The ratio is excellent: 3 teachers for 9 children.  A few months ago, they set up a program where they had an extra staff member at certain times of the day shadowing the biter.  Even with that, the frequency of biting hasn't seemed to decrease. The program does not believe in time-outs or sending the biter home for the day. They tell the biter that biting hurts, no biting, etc.  and they have that shadowing program.  When we raise our concerns, the answer we usually get is that "biting is very common in this age group and is a function of the group-care setting."  They give us a handout about how common biting is, etc.  At this point, none of this is very satisfying.  It feels like they are basically telling us to suck it up and just accept that biting happens.  The staff have stated that our child is not the only one being bitten- other children are apparently being bitten at the same frequency.   We are also particularly worried because our child has eczema and is at higher risk for skin infections.

I am wondering what I should expect from the daycare center.  Is the response of the staff normal? Is it normal that the biter is still biting after 5 months?  

We are thinking of moving our child to a different center, but will not be able to find another center with as good a ratio (3 teachers: 9 kids).  However, it seems to me that if a ratio of 1:3 is not sufficient to prevent the biting, then perhaps the ongoing biting is not a function of the caregiver:child ratio, but rather of the way the staff is handling the biter?

[benjimom]

I would say it's not uncommon for that age group, but it does seem like she is being bit quite frequently.  My son went to daycare and I don't remember ever getting an incident report of being bitten.  

As for hte biting, I'm not sure how to stop that.  Sounds like a really busy biter.

I don't blame you for being upset.  

My son has bitten about two times in the past and each time I was so upset, but luckily never was a habitual biter.

[abc293]

My above sounds very frustrated, and I want to make clear that I in no way am angry at the biting child.  At that age, children have such limited verbals skills and limited means of expressing their needs - I understand that children express their frustration in different ways, some by biting.  I am more frustrated with the staff - though if someone else tells me that what we are experiencing is totally normal, I will be satisfied. I think I just need to hear it from someone other than the daycare staff.

[margypops]

Yes you really dont accept that this is okay ..it will continue, is the school not supervising I would not want any child to continue on a regular basis to bite my chiild , you step in and get the school to stop it , protect your child .or enlist in another school one that will be in control that no child has physical harm done ...

[specialmom]

I would not be happy at all.  I expect to take my kids somewhere where they are safe for the day.  It is the staff's job to see to that.  If they have a child that exhibits this type of frustration-----  that child needs additional supervision.  

While I am a stay at home mom now, I worked until I was 38 and had my first child----  therefore, had many co workers and friends that have children in childcare-----  never heard of this.  It is not common and I'd look for another childcare provider.  

good luck

[benjimom]

I don't think this much biting is uncommon and if they have all the extra staff why does it happen so frequently?

[RockRose]

I think a bite or two is common - but it sounds like this child is biting so many other kids that they've had to hire another person,  and that isn't helping.  Usually the biter is asked to leave long before this.    Is the child who bites someone who can't be asked to leave - like a teacher's child or a dear friend of the day care owner?

[benjimom]

We had this issue at a daycare my son went to.  The director's son went there and he was bad, he would say curse words.  My son was drawn to him adn it would not be good when they were togther, but since he was the director's kid, he got away with it.  If the director has no where to put her child, she probably will not stay director, conflict of interest....

[btease]

My daughter has been bitten once in daycare.  If she came home that frequently with bites and incident reports I would definately have a meeting with the administrater. If the issue couldn't be resolved in some way I would pull my child out.  Good luck.

[motherofoneds]

My son has been bitten more than 4 documented times and 3 times that have not been documented. I have spoken with the director and told it's normal..blah blah blah...and it's not the same child; but he came home this week with 2 bites one Mon and one Wed. Since he had a Dr. appointment Wed too Dr said pull him out if it is happening more than 4 times it is too much. Doesn't matter who it is biting. Day care's job is to provide a safe environment; if kid is being bitten so frequently it is unsafe. I agree with my son's Dr and I am pulling him out. I just hope they refund the money I prepaid in advance and don't try to tell me I MUST give 2 weeks notice.