Child Mastrubation...Is' t OK

Question

I am a father of a 5 year old daughter.  Lately I have been informed by her teacher's at her pre-school, that they have noticed her mastrubating in class.  What I would like to know is....
Is it ok or not?
Does my child understand mastrubation?
Can I do something about it?  Can help reduce that behavior?
Should I punish her. or discourage her?
please help me.

catlovermom · Answer

Technically masturbating is using a hand or anything else on one's genitals to get pleasure.  A person doesn't have to be sexually mature or have an orgasm to consider it masturbation.

I don't want to sound preachy, but I don't see why everyone gets so hung up on this.  Does everyone just want to cut their kid's genitals off and raise them as eunuchs?  For the record, a PREpubescent child doesn't even think of this as sexual pleasure.  For them, it's the same thing as a back rub...it just feels really good and they enjoy doing it.  They don't understand things like feeling turned on.  Their minds are not yet active on that level, at least not entirely.  

A child masturbating once a day is not excessive...wait until they're teenagers.  My sister's son (who is 13) spends half his day in the bathroom or in his room and you know darn well what he's doing.  I walked in on my 12 year old daughter not too long ago.  She was in her room at a time I didn't think she was home and I went in to put some laundry on the bed and found something else.  I explained to her that I was sorry I walked in, from then on I'd knock, and not to feel embarassed about masturbating, that it's a normal part of growing up and that was that.

Your kids have nerve endings and later, they will have sexual desires and there is no way around that.  The only thing is to teach them where and when it is appropriate, otherwise you're just giving them a whole cartload of issues about their bodies and sex.

margypops · Answer

This is an old thread

margypops · Answer

I dont believe that it is normal in very young children I do believe it is a learned behavior, when the child is over 5-6 it may be more prevellant but I agree with alexorr that there are many more reasons and very often it isnt masturbation it is from an irritation, or abuse ,whichever way, you will find the answers by getting the child checked out ...

kaylamdakay · Answer

I am a 13 year old girl, and i have been doing these things sence i was a baby. my parents always told me to stop when i was little.... when i was around 9 i  told my self to stop doing it and eventuially the feelings went away. it was just a couple weeks ago when i got the urge again! i was so mad at my self and after i satesfied it or whatever the feeling wiill not go away! i dont want to mastrubate! im only 13! help me please!

emp013 · Answer

I am a girl of 14. I do this. Sometimes I cannot control the feeling. don't worry I used to think I was the only one who did this. But thanks to this I know :)

Noda · Answer

My son is five and has had erections since he was a baby...he use to stroke himself at the age of 1 .2 years  and not let me put his diaper on until he was finished doing what he was doing.  Now, at five, he is obsessed with breasts and my very good looking friends.  He wants them to lay in bed with him and read him stories while he lays on their chest.  He recently told our nanny that when he thinks of girls vagina's his penis gets hard....we are pretty liberal...and very open about sexuality.  I don't like to hide things from our children or make up fake names for body parts etc... but this, the part about him getting an erection while thinking of a girls body is a bit unsettling.
Any thoughts?

Liquid4444 · Answer

It is fun masterbating. I do it.  Don't stop.

answerstoo · Answer

I just wanted to say that I have been masturbating since I was a little girl. I remember being 6 years old and feeling the need to masturbate before going to bed. I did orgasm at that age too. It wasn't until I was around 9 that I started having more sexual thoughts. I think you should talk to you daughters about this, because I wish someone would have talked to me about it. I always felt depressed about doing it, and thought something was wrong with me. Of course now, I know it is normal, but as a little girl I was scared.

91004 · Answer

I think it perfectly normal, I remember when I was that age, I will say however that if you are sexually active you do need to talk to your parents or go to the health dept in your area and get birth control there are so many teens getting pregant and you do not want that

jensy2008 · Answer

i am 16  years old and i am a girl i like to watch porn and then masturbate is that healthy or wrong?
i dont have anyone to ask!!

Lilly5236 · Answer

Wow, I have a 3 1/2 daughter who mastrubates almost every night while trying to fall asleep.  My husband freaked out when he caught her doing it.  I told him it was totally normal, but he kept making a big deal about it and that had me questioning myself.  But after reading this thread & looking up a couple other sites, I feel reassured that it's normal & he's just a little too nervous about his little girl.  Thinking back, I was very young when I first started, but not 3...Thanks for such a great thread!!

melandjames · Answer

What a great thread!  I have three kids, 10, 7 and 3, and I never thought about this topic before!  My daughter is always touching her privates, but I never thought it could be masturbation!    I think that now I am going to be more prepared to deal with this!!  thanks everyone for your comments!!

darkeparent · Answer

catlovermom, outstanding response.....

JURYBOX · Answer

Don't punish your daughter for a normal act.  My son was touching himself quite often (not masturbating however) and my pediatrician told me to tell him that was something he should do only in a private place, like his room or the bathroom when he is alone.  It quickly blew over.

smm123 · Answer

I have a three and a half year old daughter who is now mastrubating on a regular basis.  I have punished her by taking away some of her favourite things, but from this forum it seems normal.I am having a baby next week and I am not sure if it is an attention seeking action.  Should I ignore this or should I get her some form of help?

Motherto3 · Answer

I can remember masturbating as a young girl, and I'd like to think I'm normal.  When my daughter was young, she masturbated a lot.  I did have to have the talk with her that it was something you do in private.  She's 11 now, and if she is still doing it, then I don't know about it.  When she was around 4 or 5, she would try to do it in the living room in front of everyone.  I worked at a daycare many years ago, and we were told to stop girls from masturbating at naptime.  I always thought it might help them sleep :)

donna80 · Answer

Masturbation id s completely normal thing to do.. you need o have a talk to your kids and explain to them its ok to touch down there but only in private place like their bedrooms or the bathroom..

mommywith2- i.e orgasm in children.. i remember like it was yesterday the first time i started doing it, i was 9, and yes i experienced the orgasm but at the time i just thought and said it was a tickle!! untill i was alot older and had it all explained to me...  have a chat to your child and tell them hat its ok but to do it in private!

mommywith2 · Answer

I have a 9 yr old daughter that masterbates on a daily basis usually at night and she describes that above her clitorus tingles and she rubbs it to make the tingle stop then she feels very wet but she is not peeing her panties.  I am just not sure what to say.  she has been doing this for several years but just w/in the last week it s been everynight.  I would like to know if a child not reach puberty can experience fluid release like argazimes.

tmv · Answer

I have a problem thinking that this is masterbation. I believe that masterbation ends in orgasm. I don't think that is what your daughter is doing. She is at the age that she may be exploring and feeling pleasure from it, but it definitely isn't what we adults have. And no, she may not even realize that this is inappropriate in the classroom. You can tell her that it is not and that if she choses to do that to do so in her room/bathroom alone. Also, kids sometimes do this when nervous. Talk to her about what's going on at school and how she feels about it.

tamlloyd · Answer

Wow. I have never heard of this and have no response. I have boys and may need to have my husband talk at least to my oldest to see if he is masturbating.

anxiousmomtobe? · Answer

When my daughter was 4 she told me it felt good to tickle her vagina.  I nearly fainted.

Discuss with your daughter that while that may give her comfort, it is a private thing.  And tell her to wash her hands afterwards!

Perhaps she is finding school stressful and this relieves the tension.  Is she developmental on track for her age?  Do the teachers express any other concerns?

Most kids will outgrow this.  My daughter is now a very normal 16 year old.

socgirl · Answer

hi there,

masturbation is a normal part of child development.  Don't punish her for engaging in this behavior, but it would be appropriate to have a chat with her and explain to her that if when she does that, she should do it in privacy like in the bathroom, her room, etc.  It's a phase and it will pass.  Good luck.

Child Mastrubation...Is' t OK

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