Child Sexual Activity

My friend's 5 year old son appear obsessed with getting other children to remove their pants and touch each other.  He is particulary interested in girls.  He has been told that this is not to occur.  His mother wants him to sleepover with my son but I have refused as I have a 3 year old daughter and don't want to put her at risk.  I have once found him with my daughters pants down touching her.  And once my daughter said he made her kiss his bottom.  On both occasions I told him this is wrong and I will not be having him play in my house if it occurs again.  I don't understand this behaviour and don't know what I can do about it except lose the friendship I have with him mother by refusing to have him in my house.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Polly,

These situations can be particularly awkward, for obvious reasons. You will likely need to place your friendship at some risk, but hopefully it will turn out OK.

Ask your friend if you can come over to talk. Let her know about your concern, and ask what she has noticed about her son. Put right on the table how difficult this is for you, and how you very much want to maintain your friendship. Let her know that you are acting out of concern for, not criticism of, her son, and that you hope she would do the same if she had concerns she wanted to convey about your children.

Ultimately, all you can do is take the high road, do what you know is the best thing, and hope for a good outcome.

[JENNY]

I agree, you should not have the child stay at your house.

My big concern is for the little boy, and his mothers lack of concern. If SHE is aware of the poblem, it is up to HER to find out what is going on. The little boy could have been molested, or someone in his family might be molesting him. I hope I'm wrong, but you can't afford to second guess. until SHE finds out what is goin on, SHE NEEDS to keep a close eye on him, NOT YOU.

It is up to you to protect your children, and no frienship is worth putting your kids in danger.