My son just turned 6 and plays with an 8 year old boy. One is in Kindergarten and the other 2nd grade. About 2 months ago I heard my son's door shut and went in to check on him, I caught the older boy trying to touch my son's butt w/ his penis. I made the boy go home and talked to my son. He told me this boy calls it the penis butt game and has tried it about 3 times. Okay, my first question is can a young boy of 8 actually penetrate at this age and does my son need more therapy. I took him in once and the counselor said this is getting more common and to not talk about it anymore w/ my son so he forgets about it. Of course I cut off all play w/ this other boy. His parents are mad at me and say it is playing Dr. We live in the same neighborhood and I worry what this Spring will bring with them both being out (meaning what this other boy will say to people and how both boys will treat each other, I have not told my son to hate this other boy...I just told him what this other boy did was wrong and he can't play for awhile). I have been extremely devastated by this. I am with my 3 children all the time, the other two are girls. I have questioned them on good touch bad touch and nothing has happened with them with anyone else that I know of. I supervise my kids 85% of the time and I always know where they are at. I am very overprotective and have my computer in the living room and channels blocked on the tvs (no cable in their bedrooms).
My son has said more than 3 times the same story so we don't think it was his idea or that he has been abused...he is either here or at school no other play dates. HELP...how do I move on and what should I do???
Plus, the other mother says that her son who is older is the victim and my son forced him to do it. My son is 6 now (was 5 at the time and 44 lbs) -the other boy is 8 and over 85 lbs.
Lesson learned - supervise as close to 100% of the time as you can get. This type of incident is not regarded as normal. In other words, it does not spontaneously occur to children to do what you observed. Such behavior is learned somehow. Now, there is no reason to dwell on the episode, particularly in light of the response of the other boy's parents. So set a firm limit with your son and and then move on. There's every reason to believe he will be fine.
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