Child frustrated because he is SO tired of being the head of his family
My 8yr old (step) grandson has been acting out. He makes the choices of what he Eats to what he watches as well as his bed time schedule. Mind you, I know all of these choices are wrong, but I have liminited control. Actually pretty much no control. I am trying my best to keep peace. Tonight he acted out, I was at my moms, apparently he ran around the neiborhood running away from his mom, uncle, grand pop, mom and sister. His mom got in the car and started to drive, then he chased after and eventually got in. Their fix was to go to a relative and sleep out. AGAIN, let's through a HUGE Rock into Structure instead of bringing this kid HOME. Please help me.. This child has been waking up every morning, pleasant , he has breakfast, watches about 10min of tv and then gets dressed for school, brushes his teeth and makes his bed, puts his clothes away. Then with a smile and a have a good day we say our good buys.
when you tell a child no you need to follow through with the decision no matter how much they scream, yell, and run. You can't give in. You can compromise and bend their attention to something else, but do not give in to that thing you said no to. If you do you are reinforcing bad behavior. It's as if you are telling the child "if you chase me down the street then you will get your way." Many people make this mistake and that is how we end up with people who do not know how to control themselves.
That being said, it is good to give your children choices. Well, at least let them feel like they are making a choice. For instance, "you can have spaghetti or penne for dinner." You are not letting them decide if they want dinner, but you are letting them make A decision. It is empowering in a good way.
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