Child's anger when time to return to custodial father

  My child becomes very combative
  and refuses to go back to the
  custodial fathers house at the end
  of our visitation.
  Why is this happening? What can I
  do to help my child and make the
  transition easier. The child
  wants to live with me, (mom) and I
  feel like I'm abandoning my child
  when I take the child back to dad.

[HVM Ph.D. - KDK]

There can be any number of reasons for the kind of reaction you are witnessing in your child. The behavior can be indicative of your child's difficulty separating from you, with no adverse implications about the care he is receiving in the home of his father. Your child may be perceiving a lack of comfort on your part for his return to his father, resulting in his unsettled response. Your child may feel or perceive some inadequacy in the care he/she is receiving in the father's home. And these are only several of the possible developments that might precipitate such a response. In ideal circumstances, children of divorced parents feel comfortable in the homes of each parent, both because the parenting is of good quality and because the parents enjoy a 'good enough' post-divorce relationship that the child feels each parent's approval and support for contact with the other parent. But, it's a less-than-perfect world, and often strains between parents in the time after divorce precipitate difficulties for the child. Important longitudinal research over the past twenty-five years has taught us that the single most important variable, in relation to children's adjustment to parents' divorce, is the nature of the parents' post-divorce relationship. It would be sensible to seek an evaluation with a child mental health clinician to determine the cause(s) of your youngster's response and to help you and your child's father develop a plan to address the problem.
This information is provided for general medical education purposes only. Please consult your physician for diagnostic and treatment options pertaining to your specific medical condition.
*Keyword: divorce, visitation