Concerned Aunt

[dababy]

My just turned 4 year- old nephew is extremely smart, but he's showing signs that I've never seen in a child in general, let alone a 4 year-old.  He is the type of child you can not turn your back on.  He enjoys destructing property and inflicting harm on others.  It's almost as if the destructing of the property isn't the goal.  The real goal is to inflict harm on the property owner.  He knows those things are wrong, so he tries to be sneaky about them (and do them when no one is looking)....and he is so smart and manipulative, he's really good at it, which is scary.  My husband and I agreed to watch him Friday night to Saturday night, as his parents went away for the weekend to celebrate their anniversary.  He displays listening problems, he hears you but chooses to ignore what you are saying.  He constantly has his hands in everything, is extremely mischievous, and he can't be trusted.  As the guardian over him this weekend for almost 24 hrs (7hrs of which he was sleeping), I had to get in his mind and figure out his worst possible intentions and try to intervene before his thoughts became actions.  I fear my brother and sister-in-law are exhausted and just trying to coexist with him, instead of receiving treatment or help.  My brother has referred to his own son as 'the devil' to me in confidence.  I didn't fully believe him until I babysat him this weekend.  Please help!  


This discussion is related to destructive 3 year old????.

[wondermom3]

I have three children. The oldest and the middle child due alot of destruction and are always fighting with each other. THe older one was worse when he was about 4-5 range he has gotten %100 better he still does it every now and then but he accepts the punishment now becuase he knows the difference between right and wrong. He has ADHD and in some ADHD cases anger management can be an issue. HE would even pee on the wall and laugh because he thought it was funny we took him to see a physcologist and they assurred us it is a tension or stress reliver when they do not feel comfortable about talking or have alot of stress in their life they do these things as a way to act out to get attenetion so they can get some one on one time. How can a 8 or 4 year old have that much stress? I don't know but since we have started taking special time to talk with him each day and take him to do special activities with just him he has gotten much better. THey suggested we put our self on his level ask questions on his level to find out what was going on. He was very upset about having another sibbling thinking that he would not get any attention, the kids at school always made fun of him even though we did not see it and it happened at daycare to. He was being bullied by kids we thought were his friends and he told us he thought we were to busy with everything else like work and stuff that he did not want to bother us. Once we told him that nothing would change and he could always talk to us about anything and made him feel more secure things have been great. I thought w espend time and do things with him but some children need more attention than others. My middle child is slowly getting better as well we have doen some different tchnics with her but she is getting better. My older child has a very high IQ and is extremely smart. IT will pass but i do suggest that you seek help from a phsycologist. People used to refer to my oldest as the problem child. He has red hair. That was uppsetting and then we started to refer to him as the same. That is not healthy for anyone there is a reason he is acting out and you need to find out why.  Hope this help let me know what happens.

[margypops]

Are you sure he isnt simply displaying normal childhood mischief he is only 4 years old ,by destroying property did he drop something or tear up a book, it is hard to see what you mean with out a description of what it is he does,a lot of children choose not to hear especially if they pick up on negative vibes .. I dont think it is good or helpful for his father to describe him to you as the Devil.