Concerned about 8 year old cousin's advances toward my 2 year old

[superproudmomma]

My husbands 8 year old cousin adores my 2 year old son.  Although, I've noticed some things that have caught my attention. . The 8 year old little boy always asks my 2 year old to sit on his lap, even when lying down.  Also, whenever I begin to change my son's diaper and the cousin is around, the cousin automatically rushes over to watch, close within my personal space and stares at my son's genitals; even when it's a poopy diaper.  I politely ask the cousin to move away, "Oh, I know the smell must be bothering you"  or something of that nature. I've even "blocked" sight of my son's privates by leaving the pull-up covering him while I was placing the fresh one on. The 8 year old asked, "why aren't you taking that one off before you put another one on?"    When the boy slept over, he wanted to sleep in my son's toddler bed with him. Not wanting to act neurotic, I allowed the 8 year old to read my son a story, while I supervised with the lights on.  When it was time for bed, I turned out the light, and heard the 8 year old tell my 2 year old, "Come one, get under the covers."     I told the child that my son didn't like covers and promptly went and got my son out of his bed to sleep in my bed, where I knew he'd be completely safe.  I'm very protective of my little one.  I don't want to overreact, but the cousin is in some fairly unconventional situations. After many years of living as a straight man with wife and children, the cousin's father came out of the closet only 5 years ago, and for the last 3 years, the cousin has been visiting his father and live in boyfriend whom he calls "my uncle".   I would never suggest that a child would be more prone to abuse because of a homosexual parent; but I'd be reluctant to allow my child into any situation where I don't fully know the partner of my ex-husband, live in boyfriend/girlfriend, gay or straight.    Not that it's relevant but, the cousin asked his mother, "Since Dad is gay, does that mean I'll be gay, too."    Anyway, should I be concerned for my own child's safety with the eight year old cousin based on his behavior or am I being neurotic?      

[margypops]

I agree with the others, protect your child ,don't leave him alone with the cousin in fact dont have him around much if that's possible .Maybe have a word with his mom if thats possible in case he has been abused himself ..good luck sounds like you are aware not neurotic..

[AnnieBrooke]

Well, I hope someone takes an interest in the boy's questions and explains to him that gay and straight don't come down the bloodline -- after all, his gay parent probably didn't have a gay parent.  

Listen to your instincts and protect your child.  That said, someone should be protecting the 8-year-old also.  It sounds like he has been sexualized in some way, and I hope not the worst way.  If he's just somewhat confused about what sexuality is, that is one thing.  But if he is being abused, that is quite another, and someone should be doing more than standing by.  I hope his mom is.  

[tigerrob76]

Hi, No i dont think you are being neurotic at all!!!  I fully understand where you are coming from, as i am very protective of my son too!!! I suggest you go with your gut instincts, cos if it feels wrong or something is not right, then it is usual for a reason..We get these 'alarms' for a reason'..and better to be safe than sorry. Good luck with that.