Concerned about almost 5yo's behavior

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I'm concerned about my 5yo son's behavior at school of late.  He'll be 5 on May 2nd and attends preschool on MWF from 9am-12pm.  He was beautifully behaved from when school began in Sept until the beginning of March, then he started to act up.  His teachers told me that he doesn't want to sit during circle time, then he started having problems communicating with his friends, now he's having difficulty sharing and today he hit two classmates because they had a something (toy, game, etc.) he wanted.  Today, the first 2 hours of school were great and then something set him off and he misbehaved for the last hour.  He's not one to hit normally.

I guess I'm thrown by his sudden inability to interact with his peers.  He absolutely knows right from wrong and the proper way to behave. I could understand if he started out the year with sharing/social issues, but he seems to be regressing now.  Nothing that I can pinpoint has changed in his life.  He's not sick, we haven't moved, no divorce, no new sibling, nothing.  When I ask him why he's having trouble, he says that school is boring and that he doesn't want to go.

I've noticed some sibling interaction issues at home too (he's the middle of a brother 6.5y and sister 2.5y).  He tells me that he wants to be alone.  He declares that he wants all the toys to himself and doesn't want to share.  He continually argues with his siblings.  He told me today that he wished that he had no brother or sister or anyone around.  We give him plenty of space, within reason.  He does share a room with his older brother.  We also give him as much individual time as we can.

To give you a little insight into my 5yo's development.  He was a model baby, very mellow, content.  He was on the late end of talking -- he was around 3 before he talked well.  Because of the speech delay, he would tantrum, cry and scream often from the ages of 2.5-3.5y.  We got that under control by building his vocabulary.  He also had some gross and fine motor delays.  He didn't pedal a trike until age 4, but could hop, climb, jump well before then.  He started out the year not being able to form letters well, but can write/draw well now.  He's low sensory and does better in a smaller group.  Teachers tell me that he's bright, good at math, has friends, and on target in every area except being able to interact in a large group.  Some days are great, others are rough.  My biggest concern are his social abilities.  He's due to start kindergarten this fall and I want to be able to guide him as best I can.

My husband thinks he's simply testing us, but I'm still worried that he might have a delay of some sort.  What do you think?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Admittedly this is a guess on my part, but the pattern you describe often indicates some change in the social environment at school. Young children react to their environments, and they are not particularly introspective and thus are usually not very aware of precipitants to their behavior. It is for this reason that young children are so often unable to reply to a question about their motivations (Why did you....?). On the other hand, development does not proceed in an even way all the time, and your son may simply be displaying one of those 'one step backward' phases. In any case, you must respond to the behavior. That is, set limits re: the unacceptable behavior, including disciplining him for infractions, and to some extent protect him from too much large group interaction at school when such interaction is not mandatory. That is, he can be grouped with one or two peers at times, and in such a situation he might feel less vulnerable. If it's possible to increase his attendance at school you might consider it. Sometimes the day-on/day-off structure is difficult for pre-schoolers.