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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
Concerned for 9 yr old granddaughter
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
Concerned for 9 yr old granddaughter
by LindaLD, Apr 15, 2007 12:00AM
My Granddaughter will be 10 in May, but my concern is she is currently under a stressful situation of her parents (my son and dil) splitting up. The child wants to be with her Dad. Recently I have noticed an increased interest by the child's maternal Grandfather, even to the point of taking the child aside when she is visiting him and the maternal grandmother, without any other adults present, and finding it necessary that he explain everything sexual, including what she says he refers to as "peeing blood" and the "f" word. She has mentioned things to me when she is with me, seems embarrassed to do so, and recently told her Dad when she was visiting him, but even more explantory with him on what the Grandfather did and said to her. I find it all very strange. The maternal Grandmother was not present at both times this occurred (was a weekend visit with them). I want to know how to approach my granddaugher to get her to open up to me. I am living with my daugher in law and the granddaugher and a 14 yr old grandson, trying to take care of them in the absence of my son. All very confusing, but right now, my granddaugher seems to put all her trust in me and my son only. I don't know how to approach this, I don't want to make accusations if the child is making up stories, but with the things she is saying, I don't think she thought of this on her own. Please, any help.
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Apr 15, 2007 12:00AM
, Apr 15, 2007 12:00AM
You should not try to make sense of this on your own. Rather, talk with your son and daughter-in-law about seeking professional help. Taken at face value, your daughter's reports indicate a troubled situation and exploitation by the maternal grandfather. However, as you seem to understand, it's possible there are other explanations for what is occurring. While there is any chance that the grandfather is acting in an irresponsible and possibly abusive manner, your granddaughter should not be in his company without one of her parents present. There should be no exceptions to this. Your granddaughter's reports invite a contact with your local children's protective services agency as well. It would be a mistake to ignore this need. Such situations should always be approached with the rule of thumb: Better to be safe than sorry.
