Concerned parent

[Neppie74]

I have a two year who goes to speech thepary as well as occpational thepary...  He has always shut down when he doesn't want to do something that he doesn't want to do...  But lately in occpational thepary, the lady can't get him to do work all he wants to do is play... If she forces the issue he shuts down on here and won't do anything...  He doesn't make eye contact, and he is going to speech thepary because he won't say words but talks all the time... He isn't very good at reading tones or body language and some loud nosies do bother him... I am not sure what is going on with him and need some advice on what might be going on with him...

[specialmom]

Hi.  My son is not autistic but has motor planning issues that affected speech.  I would look up sensory integration disorder or processing disorder and see if anything looks familiar.  What is hard is that your son is still so long, trying to figure out exactly what is going on is really difficult.  My son had some symptoms of sensory but grew into more of them.  By 4, we had no doubts.  I will tell you though--------  with intervention, my son functions pretty close to normal.  

One philosophy I took with him was that I wanted HIM to adjust to the world (as opposed to trying to adjust the world to him).  That is why I let the OT's push him even if it meant that he had a meltdown (which they don't want him to but there can be a fine line as to pushing the right amount and then going over the line a bit) because that is real life.  He has to do things to function in the real world and sometimes he won't want to or like too.  But really, that isn't an option.  When they are little, we can put them in a cocoon but you find pretty quickly, that you have to prepare them for the world as you can't always be there.  All my efforts were getting my son to the point of independence from my help.  

So, I'd let the OT's push as what he is avoiding is probably the thing he needs a lot of help on.  And THE best place for a child to have a meltdown is at the OT's office.  As they work on behavioral modification -----  they use those techniques right there and it was great for me to learn from.  So, don't be afraid of that.  

Okay, I wish you luck.  It is so worrisome as you are trying to understand what is going on.  The sign language is terrific by the way.  

Best of luck to you.  

[Neppie74]

He is going good at sign language that his Speech thepariest has taught him.  It has helped us out a lot but we are still working on his communcation skills which also frustrates us all when he can't get his point across and when we can't understand him.  He goes to Speech thepary and OT at the same time twice a week.  Right now his OT thepariest doesn't think he is austic or anything close to it.  But I keep searching for answers right now he hasn't been diagnois with anything by a Dr.  I am on a waiting list for a place in Little Rock... Right now Texas Medicaid has screwed up a lot of things.. I have to wait about 3 weeks before I can go see his regular Dr.  do to them getting their paper work in order.  He even shuts down at home with its something that is too much of a challenge..

[skepticalpeach]

Have you seen a behavioral pediatrician for a diagnosis? Since autism is diagnosed on a spectrum it is possible to have different symptoms. Your son sounds so much like my daughter. She is 5 and can't talk very well either. She sees both a speech therapist and OT. We've started joint therapy sessions with both the SLP and OT at once. Maybe that would help him too? Then she sees the OT once more during the week.

I really believe that not every therapist is right for every kid. If the therapist really can't get through to the child I think it is time to find a different one. Those early years are so important to take advantage of so it's crucial to find someone who can work with your child.

My daughter also shuts down if she gets pushed too hard. She takes breaks during her therapy session. She takes her shoes off and has to take a moment outside the room occasionally. Does your therapist let your son do this? I make sure I attend each session so they will let her take a break. I'm also better at figuring out if she needs to go potty or get a drink. Usually when a non-verbal child is upset the first thing you rule out are the basic needs, just like you would with an infant. Are they hungry, do they need to pee, are they thirsty? Although at 2 years old your son probably isn't potty trained yet. Maybe he needs a diaper change? My daughter also likes to have the lights dimmed really low during her therapy sessions. This is another sign of autism.

What does your son use to communicate? Has he been taught how to use PECS cards? ASL? A voice device such as an iPad? We've had success getting my daughter to stay calm by making a picture card schedule and using a timer. Feel free to message me any questions!

[specialmom]

Honestly, that was exactly what my son did/does due to motor planning issues.  I know it is hard to deal with sometimes.  It carries over as a child gets older.  My son worked for a LONG time on his handwrititng---  and does just fine but it challenges him.  He will avoid it like crazy and if his nervous system isn't regulated, he may even cry or carry on about doing it.  Ugh.  

So, see what your OT suggests.  I'm glad you are doing intervention things as this ultimately helps.  My son will do so much more as we address it ---  understanding WHY he is avoiding it.  good luck

[Neppie74]

Thank you all for your help... I've been doing research since his OT theparies brought it to my attention again yesterday that he keeps shutting down when it comes to different activites....

[specialmom]

by the way, speech, fine motor issues (and actually avoiding activities associated with fine motor) were two of the first things that made us aware that more was going on with our son.

[specialmom]

Another thought is sensory integration disorder.  We see an OT for this for my son.  What they try to do is push just to the point of a child shutting down to help them push past something that is bothering them.  Kids with sensory often will avoid things that are difficult.  Hallmark sign.  Many kids with motor planning issues and fine motor difficulty will do this.  

A good link to check out sensory on is sensory processing disorder.  

We've had great success with our son.  He can be difficult too for a task that is undesirable due to it challenging him.  Our OT does a fantastic job of helping him overcome the issue.  good luck

[littlebit667]

As much as I hate to mention the A word, I would say you probably should get him checked concerning Autism.  I can't diagnose, but would post on the Autism board to see if they agree and have suggestions.  If it is not, good..but there are good curriculums out there for Autism that will be very helpful.