MY STEPSON IS 7 YEARS OLD AND STILL SOILS HIS UNDERWEAR. HE HAS BEEN DIAGNOSED BY HIS PEDIATRICIAN TO BE PHYSICALLY FINE. WE HAVE TIMED OUT WHEN HE GOES AND MAKE HIM GO TO THE POTTY BEFORE SCHOOL SO THAT HE DOES NOT GO IN HIS PANTS THERE. IT DOES NOT BOTHER HIM TO HAVE THIS IN HIS PANTS, HE WILL KEEP IT THERE UNTIL WE SMELL IT. THEN HE TRIES TO LIE ABOUT IT. THE DISCIPLINE HE RECEIVES IS FOR LYING- NO TV OR VIDEO GAMES. DO YOU THINK HE NEEDS TO SEE A PSYCHIATRIST? I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY IT WOULD NOT PHYSCIALLY BOTHER HIM OR MENTALLY EMBARRASS HIM!!?? WE ALSO HAVE A 10, 8, AND 3 YEAR OLD AND NONE OF THEM HAVE HAD ANY PROBLEMS. I AM THE STEPMOM AND CAN NOT REALLY TAKE HIM TO THE DOCTOR TO HELP. MY BIGGEST FEAR IS FOR HIM TO DO THIS AT SCHOOL AND BE NICKNAMED "STINKY" OR BE MADE FUN OF. SOMETHING THAT WOULD STICK WITH HIM FOR HIS FUTURE SCHOOL YEARS AND DESTROY ANY SELF-CONFIDENCE HE HAS OR WOULD HAVE.
1) ARE WE DOING WRONG BY PUNISHING FOR LYING? DO YOU THINK HE INTERPRETS THAT PUNISHMENT FOR SOILING HIS PANTS?
2) IS THIS A MENTAL PROBLEM?
3) DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS TO TRY?
As you've probably heard from the pediatrician, the most frequent reason for encopresis in a child this age is constipation and impacted bowels. So this is the first thing that has to be ruled out. Apparently you've done so.
The plan about periodic sitting on the toilet is a sound idea, and thus far, from what you've said, he has not solied himself at school. Try having him sit on the toilet several times daily.
It's not the end of the world to punish him for lying, but you might do better at this point by skipping the part when you ask him the kinds of questions he's likely to lie about.
There is no way I can discern what he makes of the punishment. Ask him, and he'll likely tell you what he thinks of it.
Some, but not most, encopresis has a psychological explanation,and I'd guess it probably does not. It wouldn't hurt, and it might help, to seek an evaluation.
As a management intervention, I'd certainly recommend a simple incentive system, rating your son several times each day re: staying clean, and providing a modest reward for doing so.
Why is it that you can't take him to the doctor? I don't think I understand your point about that.
my son is 9 years old, but has always had the same problem, but thank god, there is help. in my case, my son was diagnosed with hirschprungs disease. i can't believe it, but your stepson sound like he has the same thing. he didn't care if poop stayed in his pants at all. i asked the same questions that you were, but a pediatric surgeon is probably your answer. i am so excited to give you this information, my son was 7 when i heard of it. please e-mail with your email address, i will give you my number and tell you more, it is very important to correct this at an early stage. most pediatricians won't diagnose the problem correctly. we also thought it was behavioral problems, but it is so much more than that. i know this can help you. i am a very concerned mother as well.
We are having the same problem with my step son 9 years old.. Please any information you can provide would be great. His father is very frustrated not understanding how his son could do this and be ok with it. I am also so worried about him being teased. I know he does not feel good about himself when he knows he smells bad. PLEASE ANY INFORMATION WELCOME.
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