DON'T LIKE MY SON

[Krissy13]

How can I pretend to like my son?  He's 7 years old and is a smart mouth and does the opposite of what I say ALL THE TIME.  I've punished him but it doesn't help.  I work and my husband stays home with him.  I know my husband needs to be more consistent and supply more structure and dicipline but he doesn't.  I get to the point where I go down to the basement right when I get home from work, shut the door and stay there all night.  I can't stand to be around him.  What should I do?  I want to love him and I find myself bonding with other kids because they act the way I would like my son to act.   I'm so lost, what should I do?

[phase2gnd]

I don't know what else to do...he sees a behavioralist 2x's a month and a psychiatrist once a month, and is way smarter than an the average 20 yr old however is lacking the life experience needed for the role he feels he plays in the world...I assume he he hate me as he does his brother cause of the annimosity of feeling he can't follow instructions, if its something he chooses not to do...he's even threatened to kill his younger brother and us very graphic about it...I often wonder when is it not because of "adhd" or "odd"....but because he's just an "a.s.s."...I wish someone would tell me to just walk across hot coals or cut off my hand and it will fix it, cause id do it...

[phase2gnd]

My son is 11 and gas a 6 yr old brother...I too am not satisfied with the relationship I have with my son...he only appears to act out at home where there's structure...his younger brother however is a parents dream...very lovable and willing to do the correct actions to get attention...my oldest has been diagnosed with "ODD"...(OPOSISITIONAL DEFIANCE DISORDER) which makes him fine in other homes and environments because he can do whatever he wants...im list for an answer also and im an involved stay at home dad...mt wife makes good money at the local police department, and im in construction so I find myself at home alot recently...however I have been certified as a foster parent also and been thru over 18 months of parenting classes and workshops

[phase2gnd]

My son is 11 and gas a 6 yr old brother...I too am not satisfied with the relationship I have with my son...he only appears to act out at home where there's structure...his younger brother however is a parents dream...very lovable and willing to do the correct actions to get attention...my oldest has been diagnosed with "ODD"...(OPOSISITIONAL DEFIANCE DISORDER) which makes him fine in other homes and environments because he can do whatever he wants...im list for an answer also and im an involved stay at home dad...mt wife makes good money at the local police department, and im in construction so I find myself at home alot recently...

[anditsok]

All mothers dislike, dare I say hate, their children for at least a split second through out the struggles of parenting.
I am a parent educator, I have a child and my job is to teach parents that are in the child welfare system because of child abuse.
I know first hand what unloved and neglected children look like.
And if you think you are above the natural human response of projecting your frustration and fears of not being a "perfect" parent onto your innocent child you are deluded.
Take a Buddhist philosophy and apply it to parenting...everything is temporary. One second you will feel like snapping and the next you will melt at their adorable littel feet.
An ongoing problem needs help in the form of education and counseling (as to avoid being a family I would serve). We are imperfect humans so we are imperfect parents and ITS OK.

[mattn476]

    All of us are "not so perfect", but sometimes we forget, because we're
"not so perfect". Children need and deserve patience, love and understanding
and so do the rest of us.
    I tell my son every day how courageous he is to choose to not take his life. I hope to tell him again tomorrow.
   When a child cries for help, we try to help.
   What about the rest of us?

[notsoperfect]

Krissy, are you still there? I read all the posts today and worry that you may have done something drastic. I hope you got some help for your depression, but I know when you're poor therapy isn't always an option, which is ironic, because it's often the poor who have the most stress and the most need.
I just came upon this today because I googled "I don't like my son". It's not true, I do like my son, but he's difficult and we had a bad day today.
He's 7 and he's whiny, needy, and bratty, and I don't know how to change his behavior.  I really want him to become a calm, rational, kind, polite adult, is that too much to ask?
I've been under-employed for several years now and it's really gotten to me. I hate being a maid cleaning up after him all day and in fact the beginning of summer vacation makes me want to cry knowing I'll have him at home every day. I really wish I could be a sweet, kind, loving parent, but sometimes I don't know how to start.
Today was bad. I swore at him and threatened to hurt him. Now I feel terrible and I apologized, but I need to make some changes in myself so that it doesn't happen again. I can't imagine how it sounded to his ears to hear his mother say that to him. I would like to think he won't remember it as an adult, but he probably will.
I feel like I have a limited amount of patience with his moods, a limited amount of imagination to entertain him and little desire to clean up after him.  You are NOT alone!