Daughter in Kindergarten-boy exposing himself

[mamaoftwins27]

My daughter has NOT been the same since she started Kindergarten.  My once happy go lucky girl hates school, (she uses the word hate even though we don't like that word) - begs to stay home, cried the first two weeks when dropped off, etc.

I have written MULTIPLE notes to her teacher and met with her Teacher during our conference.  I told her that my daughter has fears now..she won't go to the bathroom bc she is afraid someone will walk in, she doesn't like PE because she gets "tagged out" and it "hurts".  (She was a preemie-very tiny still-30 lbs. still in 3T-4T clothing).  
She tells me EVERYTHING or so i thought.  At first I thought it was an "adjustment period" like i read about ALL the time.  (And have been told by the teacher).  She has a twin brother that is in the class next to her.  (They automatically separate twins in Florida in school).  I am a stay at home mom and up until now she had been at home with me and her brother (and her daddy - we are married).
My last note to her teacher, (and I feel SO bad writing notes sometimes because i think i drive her insane but the last note was a week ago and i asked for HER help...asked her to please make sure she goes to the bathroom while she stands at the door, makes sure so and so doesn't steal her lunch, etc.)  My daughter is shy...her brother-complete opposite.
Her teacher said during the conference that my daughter does WELL in school (I see all the projects and little awards that come home) and has a lot of friends...etc.

I ask for her Teacher's HELP.  I know I am the parent and do as much as I can at home but when she is at school i expect her Teacher to be my eyes my for me...for ALL the students.  

Well - long story VERY short - my daughter (she is 5) finally told me that there is a boy in her class, (she gave me his name) has been showing her his penis and his nipples.  I asked her where and when as my heart dropped.  She sid EVERY morning when she gets to school she hangs her back pack and he is waiting there for her to show her.  I asked her if he has touched HER - himself, etc - she said that all he does is smile.  She said he does it at her table in front of her and another girl, (she named this girl and she indeed is at her table).  She said he also does this at the BATHROOM door - hence-afraid of the bathroom. I asked her what her teacher is doing and she said she is sitting at her desk on her computer.  I asked her how many times this has happened and she said "A LOT".  Now, I know "a lot" can be two times, ten or twenty or more...but either way - this is not RIGHT.  
This boy also is the one that hits her hard during "tag" during PE.  (I understand the connection btw. not liking PE now).  
My husband and I are going to the school today to talk to the Principal.  I told my daughter that we were doing so and she is actually happy.  I told her if anyone asks her any questions to always tell the TRUTH. She knows this and is not afraid to do so.  Being that another girl is involved it seems as though she is obviously not the only one.
I want to request that the kids be in the same class.  That way they can look out for one another.  I asked them about this this morning and they were both ecstatic about it.  I don't know if that is too much to ask for but I need some suggestions/feedback.  Yes - i know my daughter is not perfect...but i also know my daughter has not been herself since school started.  i am ashamed that it took so long for me to get to the bottom of it.  i asked her why she took so long to tell me but i was very proud of her for doing so and she said she was afraid this boy would find out it was her and hurt her.  
Advice?  Feedback??
Please....my stomach is in knots...
Sorry for the typos - typing fast bc i am getting ready to take the kids to school...

[macynsmama]

just going back to what specialmom said about tattling...i've been going through foster parent trainings and have learned that tattling is not ok and that is whining to get your way or get someone else in trouble but that REPORTING is a good thing and should be encouraged when someone is doing something dangerous to themselves or others(these behaviors included)

[specialmom]

Yes, agreed.  My point was only that computers are a common part of a classroom setting these days and used directly for classroom duties of the teachers as well as academic tools.  And within a classroom, things 'can' happen quickly and out of a teacher's eye sight.  However, when this mother was trying to figure out what was going on with her daughter----  the teacher should have then turned a more watchful eye directly on what happened around her.  

Who would guess that a boy was exposing themselves in kindergarten?  It can happen obviously but you would think of other things going on first.  At least, I would have.  

So, I'd be upset if I was the mother here with the teacher for not observing what was going on with my daughter a little more closely after I brought her attention to issues----  but I'm sure this boy was very sneaky.  NOW, the teacher will know and I'd expect big changes to take place.  

That was all I was saying.  Ultimately, we entrust our kids to the school and teachers and it is their responsibilty to make sure the kids are safe.  

[margypops]

Teachers may well use a computer for attendance' and lessons ...in kindergarten .... but I feel that if this boy is able to sit at the table showing his privates to your child and another..there is a problem and it lies on the responsibility of the teacher . Hope you can get some help .....

[specialmom]

Yes,  I think that addressing this formally will be helpful to getting it to stop.  I would also work with your daughter to give her the words to express "STOP IT" to a boy who is doing that.  She should stand up and go to her teacher and say "he showed me his privates."  Encourage her to find her voice.  I'm not a tattle tail kind of mom---------  but at this point, she should speak up.

I know when my kids were in kindergarten, there are certain times of the day that are more chaotic than others.  As kids are coming in is one of them. The teacher is greeting children, checking things off, getting ready for attendance, etc.  Lots of movement in the room at that point.  Our teachers use computers for attendance and lessons-------  lap tops that they have with them.  Recess is another time that is notoriously chaotic and 'things' happen.  She probably has a gym teacher for PE and not her regular teacher.  So the principal will need to make sure the PE teacher knows as well.

I think teachers in general do want to help kids.  I've been in both my boys classes and things can happen on the sly.  Now you've got specifics about what has been going on with another child to back your child up----  I suspect you'll see an end to the problem.  

But it also sounds like your daughter is full day kindergarten????  That can be a long day for some 5 year olds.  I opted for half day for both of my boys.  Is the day too long for her?  Just wondering about that.  

Anyway, sorry that happened-----  hope it resolves.  The school counselor will probably do a lesson on "taking care of ourselves and others" for the class.  They are excellent resources for these types of things.

[margypops]

I think you are doing the right thing in speaking to the principal ..it seems to me there should be more supervision ..now your daughter has told you this the parents of this boy and as its happening at school the principal needs to get involved in stopping him .May I ask what it is the children are being taught if the teacher is on the computer ?