Daughter is out of control we need a soloution

[mrsnathansherman76]

My daughter is 12, and for the past 9 years we have taken her to and from an in patient facility and 2 residential treatment centers. At 4 years of age she clawed her 1 year old brothers face and laughed to see him hurt. She had to repeat Kindergarten as she wouldnt mind, no attention span, and verbally fought everyone. She was diagnosed Bipolar, & ADHD. In 4 & 5 grade she destroyed a classroom, a room had to be evacuated because she pee'd in front of everyone and took tore up books & folders. She was always in ISS in school for behaviors including throwing open milk at teachers, and cursing teachers. In the past year, she's tormented her brother everyday, hit him, bit his ear, lying, getting abusive to both parents, and now is breaking anything she touches. Severe rages cause her to be put in a physcial hold until she promises to calm down or quit acting out. She has now been diagnosed with Severe Massive Depressive Bipolar, ADHD, ODD (oppositional defiance disorder), and there's a strong possibility of Aspberger's Syndrome as the doctor's mulling it over. What can we do to help her? We need a 100% match on a diagnosis and not a "Possibly!"  

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Try not to get too focused on diagnosis. We treat symptoms, not diagnoses. This is not to say that diagnosis is not important, just that people can let themselves be consumed about diagnosis vs what to do about the symptoms. Your description indicates that your daughter should not be living in a family situation. She requires a high degree of 24-hour structure, and that can only be provided in a residential setting.

[mrsnathansherman76]

Thank you for all of your assistance in helping me with her. Peace is what we are after with her in our family. I don't like the idea of living without her as I gave her life, BUT I know you are right!

Where we are running into a problem is private insurance... We have Texas Medicade that does not cover residential care. Our Church helped us when she was in residential care the first time.
I won't stop praying and I am not about to give up on her or finding a soloution!

Merry Christmas and May God always Bless you for reaching out to help people! You have a great christian heart! Thank you again!!

[mrsnathansherman76]

Thank you for all of your assistance in helping me with her. Peace is what we are after with her in our family. I don't like the idea of living without her as I gave her life, BUT I know you are right!

Where we are running into a problem is private insurance... We have Texas Medicade that does not cover residential care. Our Church helped us when she was in residential care the first time.
I won't stop praying and I am not about to give up on her or finding a soloution!

Merry Christmas and May God always Bless you for reaching out to help people! You have a great christian heart! Thank you again!!

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Even if your daughter's behavior appears to be volitional,the need for a wrap-around 24-hr/day structure is paramount.

[mrsnathansherman76]

Bottom line is that if it doesnt revolve around her, benefit her, please her, or if she doesnt get her way, that usually triggers her fits and horrible "episodes!"

[mrsnathansherman76]

Behavioral to us means this: Our daughter is in control of acting good or acting bad. There isnt anything wrong with her brain. She has had an mri, catscan and an eeg every year. Her brain is good. Behavioral is not spoiled rotten, but when given 2 choices, she will always choose the wrong one knowing she will get rewarded with 1 choice. She is very intelligent but has no self esteem or faith in herself!

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

A child's intelligence is separate from their emotional functioning. Many children who display serious emotional disturbance are also quite intact intellectually. The notion of 24-hour care is sensible. Two months in a residential center is not sufficient to allow for sigbnificant long term change, so it's not surprising she would relapse. When you refer to her difficulty as being 'behavioral', what does that mean to you? Whatever it is called, it is a sign of how unsettled she is. Sometimes children cannot be managed in a family or community setting - they require an environment that is designed (and staffed) to manage extremes of behavior and to provide the degree of external control that such children require.

[mrsnathansherman76]

My daughter was on Abilify at the residential treatment center last year. 2 months of 1 on 1 help and our prayers were answered when she got out! She was a model child! Proper grammer, no fits, she wasn't acting out, she would mind the 1st time and she actually did her chores!

This past February we noticed she was starting to act out again. The Doctor thinks she out grew her medication as it was at the highest level.
Since then he's had her on many different meds that don't seem to work. Her physcians, dad and I all agree that it's all behavioral. We have been consistant but not mean with her in regards to the rules in our home.

She is very intelligent but does not have any social skills. She can turn it off & turn it on when she wants to.

We are desperate for a solution not necessarily a diagnosis, but peace!
Her Doctor mentioned a state hospital and I believe she is way too intelligent for something that drastic.