Daughter refuses to eat.

[Jennyq]

Can anyone shine some light on my nearly three year old daughter.  She wont eat i have taken her to the doctor had tests done and all is fine with her.
When i offer dinner she plays with it eats maybe the potatoes and then leaves the rest.  The same with most meals picks at things.  She looks at me to see if i am looking and when i ingore her she starts to scream.

Please help.

Thanks.  

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

As long as she is fine medically you really don't have to be concerned. Focus your energy on serving the meal. She'll eat whatever she will, then the meal will be over. Don't engage with her around what she is or is not eating, and do not change your behavior if she screams. You are doing a sensible thing by not looking at her when she is eating. Take a casual, matter-of-fact approach to this. When she's hungry, she will eat. Be sure not to be giving her betwee-meal snacks, though, when she's not eating her meals. Doing so will satisfy her hunger and make it more likely she'll refuse to eat at the regular mealtimes. I'm sure some of our readers will respond with their stories about their children who were fussy eaters or refused to eat much for phases of their lives.

[mom@homenow]

You're certainly not alone! I've got a 5 year old picky eater, his problem is with textures. My advice to you is to find a way to deal with it that works for you and doesn't stress you, your family, or the child out too much. Some people don't have the time or energy to make something separate for a picky eater, and so they try to include at least one thing at the family meal that the child will eat and let them basically make that their meal. Personally I have just always fixed a meal for my son that he will eat, and along with it a taste of what my husband and I are having. At age 3 he didn't try new foods well, but believe it or not even though I never have insisted that he try new foods he now is very willing (usually!) to at least take a bite of something new, when he knows he doesn't have to eat any more unless he wants it. His food list has expanded greatly since the age of 4, but he is still pretty limited in what he likes on a regular basis. One thing I've always made sure is that he gets a multivitamin every day.

I had a friend growing up who was a picky eater. Her mother always gave her the option of a bowl of cereal with milk for dinner if she didn't like what the family was having. I also have a brother who lived for years basically on milk, peanut butter, bacon, white bread, apples, carrots, celery, ice cream, and fried clams! Drove my mother crazy but the pediatrician told her he'd eat something else when he needed it and sure enough eventually he did and he's just fine and healthy as an adult.

So anyway, those are some ideas for you. Hope it helps.

[Jennyq]

Thank you both for your comments on my question.
I will continue to offer her meals and she can eat what she wants.  Pasta is her favourite so lots of that then!

Thanks.

Jennifer.