Daughter starting school

[vamarris]

My 5 yr old gets physically sick when she goes to school (kindergarten) her mother and I divorced when she was two. She tried preschool and experienced these symptoms so we made the decision to pull her out thinking it was a maturity issue. Today, her grandma took her to school and she cried which led to vomiting and apparently she said she needed to go to sleep. We have reassured her and laid out what she can expect from school to no avail. Once she was home and had calmed down she stated that she could not do what she wanted and that she did not know where mommy and daddy are. My ex wants to try again tomorrow and if the symptoms persist, take her to our family Dr. for guidance. any help here???

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

If you persist in a patient and supportive way, your daughter will adapt to her school setting. Any time you respond to her distress by removing her from the school you will be reinforcing the very behavior you want to eliminate. You are likely witnessing a transitory phenomenon, rather than a chronic problem. Almost always such situations can be manged by a systematic, consistent agreement between home and school for the child to remain in school. This version of separation anxiety generally wanes pretty readily.

[jdtm]

I suspect you are dealing with anxiety - perhaps generalized and/or separation.  I like to define anxiety as "intense distress which can reach toxic levels".  Today's research indicates that anxiety tends to be inherited and is often found in children displaying inhibited temperaments.  By the way, is she able to speak or eat in a school environment?  This is one example of extreme anxiety and how it can affect our children in a physical way.  I might suggest you do a "search" of the internet re "childhood anxiety disorders" to see if anxiety might be  possibility.

Often children suffering from anxiety require treatment as intervention, therapy and possibly medication.  It appears as if your child would benefit from intervention at the school level.  By the way, anxiety is a highly treatable mental health disorder and the earlier the diagnosis, the better the prognosis.  All the best -

[vamarris]

Thank you very much! She seems to have a problem with larger groups of children as well. She attended for one day last week and done fine, however only half the class was present. Today, the entore class (15 children) was present..