Defiant Behavior

My five year old son is in Kindergarten.  I am having a problem with his behavior - for the first part of the year he was always wanting to play in class and not listening.  He is not disrespectful to the teacher, however, his playfulness is a distraction.  He was put at a seat by himself but still found objects within his reach to play with.  His is doing well academically.  When he returned to school after Christmas break his behavior was excellent (for two weeks), so well that his seat was moved to the table with the other children.  Now, his behavior is getting to the point that he is running around in the class playing.  There was an incident where he threw an eraser, was corrected, and five minutes later threw another eraser that hit someone in the head.  I am at a loss on what to do, I have tried spankings, all of his toys have been taken away from him... I am now trying writing sentences and time-outs.  I have to admit I have not been consistent with his punishment in the past.  My mother and brother have told me that I am too hard on him, wanting him to do everything just right.  I want to get this under control now because I don't want it to escalate any further.  Suggestions, advice will be greatly appreciated.   He is now acting like he knows he is not supposed to do it but he is going to do it anyway.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

The behavior management in school and at home needs some adjustment. Taking away all his toys, spanking him, etc. are not going to help. You need a consistent (you are correct - you are not being consistent), systematic approach to managing the behavior is necessary. Get the book SOS Help for Parents and follow the instructions - you'll be glad you did. More capable limit-setting at school is also important. But, to a great extent, that is out of your hands. Is there any family history of hyperactivity, either in your side of the family or his father's side of the family? It may be (at least it should be considered) that he displays some hyperactivity.