Depressed, Lonely or Just not supposed to be a mom?

  I don't know if this is the forum to post this on or not.
  I love my daughter. I have nno doubts about this. But sometimes the thought of being responsible for someone 24 hours a day for the rest of my life drivs me literally to the brink of a nervous breakdown. It seems like whenever I'm watching my daughter alone, I get irritable and overwhelmed, but if someone is with me, (whether they are helping me or not) I can be much calmer and enjoy my daughter more. Does this just mean I'm lonely? I'm a single parent, so maybe this is it. Do I need some kind of therapy? I want to sleep sometimes. Is that so wrong? what can I do? i DON'T WANT TO BE A BAD MOM.

[HVM Ph.D. - KDK]

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Dear Anna,
As Dr. Thomas Gordon comments in Parent Effectiveness Training, it's important to remember that parents "are still humans with human faults, persons with personal limitations, real people with real feelings". You are experiencing some serious strains in your role as a parent. In and of itself, this does not mean you can't be a good parent. There's no doubt that parenting can be difficult - as parents, we often (not always) must be ready to put our own needs "on the back burner', so to speak, in favor of meeting our children's needs. At the same time, the happier we are as persons in our own right, the better will be the quality of our parenting.
Single parents have a particular burden. Not only are many single parents not able to share the tasks of parenting with another person, they often have fewer personal (and other) resources to fortify themselves and meet their own needs,including the needs for  companionship and friendship.
The fact that you are aware of the strains you are experiencing, and that you are cognizant that your own satisfaction/contentment in the role of parent has an impact on your child, indicates that you have some capacity to be looking out for her needs. Loneliness and depression often go hand in hand. Some of the usual symptoms of depression include low or dysphoric mood, loss of interest or pleasure in activities, significant weight loss or weight gain, decrease or increase in appetite almost every day, difficulty falling asleep or remaining asleep, sleeping too much, fatigue or loss of energy, feelings of worthlessness, diminished ability to think or concentrate and recurrent thoughts of death.
It would be sensible to seek an evaluation by a licensed mental health clinician (clinical psychologist, psychiatric social worker, psychiatrist, psychiatric nurse), who can help you determine if you are displaying a mood disorder and, if so, help you to feel better. Such a person can also help you examine your thoughts, reactions and behavior as a parent. If you're unsure how to obtain the services of a mental health clinician, seek the guidance of your primary care physician.
This information is provided for general medical education purposes only. Please consult your physician for diagnostic and treatment options pertaining to your specific medical condition.
*Keyword: single parenting, depression