Once again I would like to learn from others` experience. My son is five and a bit and I am wondering if his development in a few areas is age appropriate or if I already missed out on giving him the correct support:
1. Eating manners: ever since he enjoys most of his meals in a preschool/ kindergarten setting all seems to be forgotten about keeping his mouth closed and elbows off the table for example. It takes a whole weekend to bring those manners back. Am I fighting a useless battle here too soon or too late? Should I just let it go?
2. Language and grammar: my son has been talking pretty clear and precise early on but the irregular verbs are one confusing chapter to him as for many grown-ups as well it seems. I am talking about the use of "go-went-gone" for example like instead of "the train has gone back" or "went back" he would say "has went back". Should a five-year-old be able to pick up on that or can I just lean back and let elementary school fix it?
3. Empathy: no matter how much empathy I show around my son he is not the type who will readily come running to comfort a best friend who hurt himself but rather watch from a distance or ignore the situation. He can be so loving with friends and animals and even objects in other situations but not in painful moments. No encouragement seems to work. Is empathy something that can be learned at all?
4. Independence: my son has an independent spirit but otherwise never shows too much inclination to be like the tough and independent boys around him. Even four-year-olds sometimes look at him funny that amidst their play he wants me to join or at least admire what they have been building which I gladly do but there is always the risk of him being branded as the mama`s boy. Sometimes his peers get annoyed when he announces "My mom says we are not allowed to do that". They just roll their eyes...I am not trying to disrupt his behavior as we have spent so much time playing together anyway but I wonder when the typical time will come that boys are rather ashamed of their moms showing up among their peers. Sorry to ask so many different question in one post. I am just curious waht other moms or dads have to say. Thank you.
Trial - These are all boy behaviors. I have three boys, your son seems totally on track. ;D
1. He'll pick up nice eating manners when he needs to - when he's trying to impress a girl. Until then, gently correct him but don't make a huge issue of it. It doesn't sound like his manners are disgusting - just rough around the edges.
2. "Has went" is an incorrect use of the language that I see major media outlet journalists use. Unbelievable, I know. Just again gently correct him. The train "has GONE", not has went. Correct English is becoming a thing of the past, "has went" is common. Also, no one knows how to use a plural S or a possessive 's anymore.
3. Boys don't show empathy to each other after a bruising. Bleeding is "cool", and not a thing to fawn over and say oh no are you hurt?
4. Cool that he still loves you and isn't ashamed of you. His friends will probably feel the same way about you.
RR, that was a fast - and cool - reply I say. Very reassuring from someone with three boys. I would probably be more relaxed with three but too old for that adventure... So I am going to wait for the day he is trying to impress a girl. He has already been in love with a girl since age 2 and when they finally had a play date at age 3 at the park he was so excited that he pooed his pants...and she still talks about it....But I am sure he will keep his mouth closed when chewing :). As for the grammar issues we may have to accept it as a global trend I guess. I just tend to get confused as English is not my first language. Thanks for your insight and have a good night.
Thanks for the positive feedback. Five brothers seems like "majority rules" anyway. I am starting to get it. The boy-joy of life can boil down to burping and laughter between age 3 and 93 and that is just wonderfully simple, isn`t it? Good luck to you by the way for your final countdown.
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