Does my son have OCD

[Margaret McNamara]

I suffered from OCD as a child and continue to suffer from anxiety now.  My son is scaring me.  Every night he has to use the bathroom over and over to make sure he doesn't have a night time accident, even though he hasn't had one in months.  My son is 4.  He cries when he can't go potty.  I tell him there isn't any urine in him since he has already gone.  This goes on and on and he continually cries.  Last night we lost our patience and allowed him to use it only once and stuck with it.  I'm afraid I've done more damage than good by forcing him to limit his trips to the bathroom and my lack of patience and anger with him. I'm usually quite patient, but I know that as a child any reasurance I received from my parents only fueled my need to ask for reasurance. My son is incredibly well adjusted in almost every other way, however he does present a habitual clearing of his throat that is not a real cough.  It drives me insane.  It only occurs around me and the family.  Sometimes he soothes himself by gently biting his hands and asks for reassurance that my husband and I are around.  He can be insecure.  However, he is awesome at preschool, loves it and has many friends.  He is very happy at school and quite confident.  What would cause such a difference between home and school?  Am I projecting my own fears and anxieties upon him at home by looking for signs of possible OCD since I suffered from it?  I dread the possibility of him suffering from this.  It was a nightmare for me as a child.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Ms. McNamara,

It's possible that you are witnessing the early signs of OCD, though this is not by any means a foregone conclusion. As you are already aware, it's important for you not to project aspects of your own situation onto your son, while at the same time appreciating that conditions such as OCD have a strong hereditary component. What does not support the likelihood of OCD is your son's out-of-home behavior - if it were certain that OCD was represented in his behavior, there would likely be signs outside the family situation as well.

Relative to the bathroom trips, it's perfectly OK to set limits on them, but the quality of the interaction around this is crucial. Try, as I can tell you often do, to maintain your equanimity - anger does not have to surround the interactions. We can be firm in our limits as parents and at the same time maintain our composure. Dr. KDK