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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
Don't know what to make of this!
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
Don't know what to make of this!
by ngel, Jun 21, 2009 06:33PM
I do not know what other approach to use with my 4 year old. He has been evaluated and has no cognitive/developmental problems according to them. I am a stay home mom and he is my only child. I take him everyday to a private pre-school so that he can be around his peers. He has been going to the same school for 6 months. Every single day he wakes up saying he hates school and he resists to go. He fights, tantrums, makes it difficult to get him ready for school. He goes on time out until he gets every piece of clothing on. I have tried many different ways to approach this situation. On the way to school he chants the same thing..." I don't want to go to school, I don't like school" When we get to school, he holds on, he runs out and he screams and cries. Again, I have tried different approaches, but I know just do the drop and run method. The school tells me that once I leave he is fine and it is true because when I pick him up, he seems to be enjoying it. He has many behavioral problems. He just got thrown out of Tae Kwon Do school. They were good with him but he did not want to do it so he did everything possible to upset them. For example, he would cough on the instructors face or run out of the class and they would have to chase him and he found that thrilling. Everything with him is a struggle. He is a privilege child. He does not appreciate what he has and at times I strip him of what I think he likes at the moment. I do it in order. First a warning, time out, warning for toy to be put away until he earns it and so on... Nothing works. I have always been consist ant but it has not seem to matter. I have covered all angles of this situation and nothing has works. What else is there left? I need help..............
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Jun 21, 2009 07:22PM
, Jun 21, 2009 07:22PM
It will not help to think that a child so young will 'appreciate' anything. That expectation is unrealistic and will only bring you frustration. For a child to be involved in activities can be very useful, but if the activity is not something that is enjoyable there really is no benefit from pursuing it. Involve him in activities that he enjoys. It isa good sign that he does well in school and is enjoying it after you depart. That is a sign that he should continue in the program. Re: behavior management, it sounds like you are doing some sensible things, but the execution of the behavior management tactics may not be working for you. Package some of your interventions into the approach that Lynn Clark advocates in SOS Help for Parents and you should see some improvement.
Fortunately, you live in an area that is rich in resources. You might contact the Division of Pediatric Development and Behavioral Medicine at North Carolina Children's Hospital.