Eating problems

[Dharma]

My son turned 2 in August and he is developing normally.The only problem is he refuses to eat food and he'll go a few days without eating.He loves cereal, sandwhiches(only peanut butter),fruit, and he'll only eat vegetables and meat out of babyfood jars(this is when he does eat), but when it comes to regular "people"food he just won't eat, or even try anything.Even when he does eat the few things he normally will eat, he'll go thru a phase where he won't eat those foods at all. My doctor says he is low in iron, but I can't get him to eat meat(except out of a babyjar,Heinz babyfoods,and that is even hard to get him to eat)I guess my question is when will he start eating normally and regularly and is this normal?It is really starting to concern me because it has turned into a pattern, an unhealthy pattern, especially when he is now low in iron.What can I do?
I'm very stressed out about it.Please help.
Thankyou

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

As long as you keep in reasonable touch with the pediatrician, it'll be fine. This is a quite common phenomenon. Be sure you don't get into struggles around the eating. Let Mother Nature take care of it for the most part. Your son will eat when he's hungry. Ask the pediatrician if any supplement re: the iron is necessary.

[leila]

Dear Dharma,

How I sympathise - my son was/is like that - only worse!  My son would only eat crunchy things and quite often turned them down too.  The only 'solutions' I found at the end of the day was to give them what they 'would' eat.  If that's not healthy enough, and you seem to be saying this is the case, then another thing worth trying is what our family have nicknamed 'select-a-meal'.  This is an attractive tray with lots of small pieces of food of different kinds (cut up) on it.  Pieces of sausage, egg, fruit, (sometimes nuts, but you've got to be careful with these because of the risk of choking), dried fruit (I vaguely remember that dried apricots is a good source of iron), cubes of cheese, pieces of carrot - in fact anything reasonably healthy - even biscuits or crackers if you can try and find fairly nutritous ones (baby rusks?).  Don't worry about mixing sweet with savoury. They are at least getting something then.  The tray is then plonked down in front of them with no fuss and they are left to get on with it.  My children now look forward to 'select-a-meals' as it appears that they have lots and lots of choice, which is fun.  At the end of the meal it's best to just remove it and try not to comment or make a thing of it (I'm sure you've been doing that all along any - if you are like me you've probably tried all the advice given and foundered).  It's amazine what they children will try if it's there on a platter and it's their 'choice' (so they think).

My son did not gain the weight he should have whilst a toddler, and actually fell off the growth chart at one point due to the eating problem.  So I do know how stressful this is and how patronizing medical people can be over this subject (present medical advisers excepted, of course!).  I hope this is helpful.  My son is growing and doing well, even though he'll always be shorter and smaller than his peers.
Jule

[banana]

I read your problem with your two year old son.  I am absolutely appauled by the "doctors?" answer. My newphew was treated for reflux as a baby up till a year old, then he was taken off the medicine and supposedly monitored.  The problem was when he reached 15 months the doctor diagnosed as failure to thrive, but wasn't obligated to tell my sister about this. Each time she would explain to the doctor how he hated to touch certain foods, was eating less and less, she was even pulling out clothes for him to wear from the previos season, because he wasn't growing properly.  The doctors response was he's a picky eater, don't be a short order cook, when he is hungry he will come to eat.  Well the problem was he never came to eat!  Finally at his two year visit she couldn't take it anymore, by this time he fell off the growth chart and was in great danger.  She now has come to find out that my nephew has esophigitis and sensory intergration disorder.  He is now 100% tube fed, and has to go to an intense program for two months out of state, to learn to eat again.  I am not saying your son has any of these issues, but if I have learned one thing through this is you have rights, your a mother and you have a natural instinct.  Just because the doctor tells you one thing does not mean that it is true.  You can request to have your sons records given to you, please don't let it get to the point where it can be something that could have been fixed very easily, if diagnosed properly, to where for my nephew it has become life and death.  I hope everything is well and okay for you and your family. If you would like any information please contact me through this address.

[sammyboy]

Banana,
I was reading you comments about your nephew and him having sensory integration dysfunction. I'm trying to determine if this is what my son has. He is 2 years old and will not eat food with any texture. Only soft things like yogurt, cheese, baby food. My pedeitrician also said "oh he'll eat when he's hungry". . . definately not the case. My son could go all day and never ask or cry for food. His weight is falling off the charts too. Can you give me any information or advice?

[latina37]

I find that asking a pediatrician a specific question regading your child's development and getting the answer.. ."There is nothing wrong" is a red flag (no offense pediatricians)In my opinion alone.  I feel that that is their way of saying they have no idea.  that's when you put your mind at ease and seek out a specialist!  I am fortunate enough to have a wonderful pediatrician who has thus far directed me in the correct direction each time I have questioned my child's developement.  I encourage all parents to do the same.

[patricita]

A related discussion, bad eating was started.