My wife seperated from me 1 year ago. We are soon to be divorced. We have a 3 year old son together. Currently he is living with his mother and I take him on the weekends, except every third weekend which he spends with his mother. My question is what are the effects of a joint custody situation where my wife and I would alternate weeks with our son. I personally grew up in a situation where I lived with my mother and saw my father every other weekend. Obviously, no situation involving divorced parents is ideal. I want only what is in the best interests of our son. I have also considered fighting for full custody, but I am scared that if I were to lose that I could lose the opportunity for joint custody which his mother has already agreed to. I understand that every situation is unique, but I was just curious if any studies have been done to record the results of the type of physical joint custody that we are considering. Thank you for your time, and I look forward to your response.
There is no way to generalize about such things, except to say that, in most situations, the sort of custody arrangement you are contemplating tends to be fine. The key ingredient to post-divorce situations is the nature of the post-divorce relationship between the parents. If parents can put aside differences and acrimony and work together in a cooperative spirit in relation to parenting issues, children form families of divorce can do quite well. If the parents engage in conflict, children have a much harder time.
Hi... I don't mean to sound harsh in what I am posting, just realistic. Please consider the effect on your child of having two sets of households, two sets of rules , and the reality of having to "move" every week, back and forth, back and forth. It may be easier and more convenient for you and your ex, but I think it could instill a real feeling of rootlessness in your child. Wouldn't it be much better for him to have his very own "turf", especailly at such a young age? Just a thought. You seem to want the best for your child , so pelase at least consuder this.
I have a family in my daycare that are sharing custody every other week. Wednesdays they have a visitation dinner. In my experience it is just too much for the children to handle. They don't seem to have a feeling of real belonging when moved around so much. Your situation may be much different but from what I can see with your child's age he needs a stable enviroment.
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