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Emotional distress? Child refuses to use bathroom ALWAYS
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Emotional distress? Child refuses to use bathroom ALWAYS

A little background.  I am the step-mother of a wonderful 6yo boy and 5yo girl.  Our family and their mom's get along VERY well, to the point that their grandparents have offered to help us pay for custody court costs.  Their bio mom was seeing a man that she accused of harrassment and physically abusing both children.  We stood by her during that time and I even testified at hearings on her behalf.  Recently, she moved back in with this man and kept it a secret form everyone else.  (They too have a child together, just another twist.)  About a month ago, she married him and claimed that there was no proof of the TERRIBLE things SHE had accused him of.  Needless to say, it is a mess.  The boy has suffered a lot, having to keep it a secret where he was living and that the man had moved in with them.  He would even scold his sister if she mentioned the man's name in front of us.  The boy went through a timeframe, before he knew that the secret was out and he didn't have to keep it any longer, where he did not want to come to our house and visit.  Once he heard the adults talking about it, he began coming again.  

The trouble is him going to the bathroom.  He HATES to go.  He will cry and yell that he does not need to.  He will lie and say he has already gone.  Then he will wet the bed.  He will literally fight you tooth and nail before going on a trip, before going to bed, ANYTIME you ask him to go, and then he will have an accident in the bed or in the car.  

A friend mentioned to me that maybe it was something more...maybe something going on at home?  Any ideas?
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It is evident from the description that you offer that this boy is at risk for developing emotional problems due to the experiences he has had, and may be having , in his home. It is likely that the behavior around using the bathroom is evidence of such problems. It would be prudent to arrange an evaluation for him with a pediatric mental health professional who can assess the status of his emotional functioning and help illuminate what is contributing to the current situation.
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