Extreme Tantrums

[Ryvynn]

My 21 month old has had off and on extreme tantrums. It started of with her kicking and screaming, and went to throwing herself on the floor {on her stomach and throwing herself on her back], and then went to hitting or pinching her legs or smacking her head, now shes learned to kick on the doors, slam the dresser drawers.. and has become unreasonable when she gets like that. and even if i pick her up to take her to her bed [naptime or bedtime] or to the bathroom she starts to throw her head back, starts hitting me, kicking and screaming, or something as simple as finishing her food and wanting more.. she starts hitting her head back on her chair.. it scares me because i have no idea what to anymore, and ive tried everything i can think of. i dont know if it has anything to do with my husband old drug habits but its been at least 4 years since hes done anything, and the doctors have said shes healthy.. but could it still have affected her somehow?

[laci25]

you're welcome!  Let me know how it works out for you!

[Ryvynn]

thank you so much :)

[Ryvynn]

thank you so much :)

[laci25]

I do the same with my kids and I have found that if I don't hold firmly to my promise of punishment they will try my patience to no end!  My mom told me and my sister that when we were little, my sister proceded to flop down on the floor and throw a temper tantrum, my mom picked her up and gave her a good butt wooping.  Mom said she never did that again.  I have also heard that they throw temper tantrums to get attention so one of the things you can try is to not give her the attention.  I have heard that if you ignore them, they will realize that the temper tantrum is not working and they will stop.  My 3 year old son can be a hard one to deal with sometimes.  If he gets in trouble and I put him in his room, he will keep calling me non stop.  I used to keep running in there and popping his butt and fussing at him to be quiet, but that started to drive me insane!  I then finally had to start ignoring him and he would eventually stop.  Once he stopped I would go and sit down and explain to him that I would not listen to him until he got quiet.  He still does it every now and then but it is not half as bad as it used to be.  As for the throwing things and climbing etc, I would do the same thing of putting her in her room (but make sure there is nothing she can play with) and if she throw a tantrum just let her be.  Don't even go in there until she has gotten quiet and is quiet for a few minutes.  I have had to leave my son in his room for almost a half hour because he would not stop.  You have to show them that you will not give in to them.  My 4 year old daughter is not half as bad as my son.  She quite a bit easier to deal with and she usually does what she is supposed to.  Even when she does get in trouble, she will go to her room when I tell her to.  If she starts playing while she is supposed to be in time out then I can usually just give her 1 good pop on the butt and it works.  All kids are different though and all kids need different types of discipline!

[Ryvynn]

i tell her no in a firm tone, i pop her but and tell her no if she does it again [ie: throwing toys/food, climbing on things, or putting things in her mouth that shouldnt be in there] and if that doesnt work ill put her in time out for 1-2 min and turn the tv off and take her toys away.

[laci25]

what forms of discipline do you use?  Do you believe in spanking or popping?  Do you put her in time out or anything like that?

[Ryvynn]

sometimes anything can upset her, saying we are going to use the potty,or were going to watch a movie,  or we are going bye-bye or its time to eat [or if im getting more food if she finishes and wants more], or its nap time/ bed time. sometimes shes good throughout the day, she either starts out bad and gets better as the day goes on, or starts of good and just gets progressively worse, or on a bad day shes completely rebellious and doesnt listen at all and throws tantrums no matter whats going on. and its starting to effect her sleep and eating habits [mostly her sleeping habits than anything]

[Ryvynn]

sometimes shes playing, watching tv, finished eating, or has just woken up and we are heading downstairs so i can change her pull ups. she is the only child and she throws tantrums usually around nap time and during it too, which causes her to not take them and decides to play instead of sleep even if i take her toys away and lay her back down [same thing for bedtimes but just falls asleep late and wakes up throughout the night] and the cycle continues with her tantrums and playing and talking to herself. no one has locked her in her room, however, i think its just to get attention kind of like 'hey im making this loud noise pay attention to me' instead of taking her naps..i could be wrong though..

[margypops]

I doubt it has anything to do with the past, what happens immediatly prior to her behavior? what happened to upset her , what was she doing, playing, has she any older siblings ? kick on the doors ?, does anyone lock her in, I defianlty get a feeling that you should have her checlked out again she is doing this for a reason...