Feels shy to be pretty

My daughter is 5 years old. She is an angel. But she doesnot like to dressup or look pretty. It started with wearing sleevelessdress. I didnt wanted her to force i jsut ignored and started dressing in dresses which had sleeves. Later she didnt wanted to keep bindi (Its kind of stickers Indians keep on forehead). Its custom for us and she is totally does not want. only thing she will tell is others see her and tell she is pretty and she tells me to look pretty is bad wrong. she doesnt want me to apply powder on her face. She doesnt want to wear bangles. She is very comfotable in jeans and tshirt. Now she is making me crazy. She pulls her hair and covers her face. Doesnt like to pin her hair. We tried many things. Once we packed all her dresses which had sleeves and pretended to throw the bag outside. I stopped taking to her. I didnt give her food. But she is becoming more and more stubborn. I leave in singapore, here medical servise is very expensive I just cant afford it. Please somebody help me. I am going nuts with my daughter.

[Agnes1978]

are you crazy??? you dont give her food because she doesn't want to put pretty dress on and wear powder on her face???
She is 5 years old! JUST LET HER BE HERSELF.
if its an important event than yes make a deal with her you wear this today and tomorrow i will let you wear jeans, but come on! of course she is becoming more stubborn, who wouldn't? How would you feel if your own mother made you wear clothes you hate? and didnt talk to you because you dont look pretty enough??? give the child a break!
besides did you ever ask her if she was abused by a man?

[malasn]

Please understand my view and my problem.

If the problem was with not wearing sleeveless i would rather be happy thinking that she knows what she wants. But when it started applying to everything she wears i got worried.

I have crossed the level of these deals, bribes, taking and told her that she has understood the word pretty wrongly. I told and explalined to her she is pretty even if she doesnt apply powder, wear any dress because she is happy child. Happy inside. I told her if mummy puts on her best dress and puts on powder and what not but if she is grumpy and anger she cannot be pretty.

Why i told that i didnt talk to her is because this is how it works in my house. If she misbehaves i will nto talk to her 3 mns. This i picked up from Supper Nanny and it pretty well works for other problems.

Food,  I mean is snacks like icecream and choclates which are best favourites

Please any mother cannot be as rude to her child as ur thiking.







Basically she has some mindset problem. May be not comfotable being centre of attraction. I am thiking, slowly she is becoming a person who wants to get lost in crowd rather that make a significance in crowd. Or I just wanted to know from other parents and experts if this is very much normal and i should just let it go.

[Agnes1978]

I apologize then for the attitude in my previous note. Without your explanation it truly sounded shocking.

I was wondering how did she come up with that: looking pretty is a bad thing. She must have heard it from somewhere and it got stuck in her head. Would a five year old come up with it by herself? Maybe someone really hurt her feelings. If your daughter goes to school see if you can talk to a school counselor, dressing up maybe just a symptom not the actual problem.
My 5 year old is quite stubborn too. Clothing was one of her ways to show she has mind of her own. I finally let her wear whatever she wanted because I  thought she has to learn about herself, what she likes and what she doesn't by experiencing it.  Once I stopped pushing my ideas on her, she actually takes my advice on the clothes, but its still her choice.
I apologize again, hope someone may help you better than me.