Four-year-old bedtime issues

My daughter is soon to be four in April.  Within the last few months I have had several issues related to bedtime that I am starting to get completely exhausted and drained from.  She has never been a good sleeper since she has been born partly due to the fact that I used to rock her to sleep and didn't learn from my first child not to do that.  Now she cannot go to sleep on her own.  She needs me to sit in the room in a chair reading my book for her to go to sleep.  Sometimes it will only take her 15 minutes to fall asleep and sometimes it can be up to one to two hours.  She also has decided that she cannot sleep alone at night.  Most nights lately it can be 10:00 before I can get her to sleep or and she insists on sleeping in my bed. She has used every excuse with the latest being that she is afraid of her room.  If she does manage to fall asleep in her own bed she will wake up sometimes two to three times a night crying out for me.  I have tried the positive discipline thing such as a chart and prizes if she goes five nights sleeping in her own bed and so far we haven't even mastered one night. She is split between her father's house and mine but with our visitation schedule she is with him four nights in a row and with me 10 nights in a row for more consistency.  Nothing seems to work with her.  I have tried to let her cry it out as well but she can let out a blood curdling scream for sometimes up to an hour.  The only way to get peace in our home at night is just to give in and let her sleep with me and stay up until 10:00 therefore I get no time to myself at night.  

Please help and give me some ideas on what I can do to get this stop and we can all sleep better.  

[margypops]

The only way is to consistantly not give in and leave her in her room after reading some srories and saying good night,leave some hall light on if you wish, thing is you are giving in and sending mixed messages, dont stay with her ,she will be okay ,and put up with a few nights of ear piercing yelling , or let her sleep with you, a lot of families do,its in your hands trust me so tough it out ,she will get it after a few nights..Good Luck we've all been there its not easy....