My four year old has been fighting potty training since I introduced it. She now pees in the potty about half the time and seems proud of herself when she does, but she will only poop in her pull ups and has an absolute fit when we try to change her. She will even try to get dirty pull ups out of the trash! I think that it is a control issue, but don't know what to do about it. I have never heard of anyone else who's had this problem.
The getting them out of the trash thing is a bit over the top. It sounds like she feels connected to anything that was once related to her body. Is she that way about haircuts also? You might call a children's counselor and ask for advice, and in the meantime try to stop any active potty training (or chiding, lectures, suggestions or speeches) and just hold where you are, so the pressure is reduced on her emotionally.
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