Fourth Grade daughter is extremely emotional

[mom_2_cmh]

I have a 9 year old daughter in the 4th grade this year.  She is extremely emotional and has always been.  It was never really a problem until this year.  The teacher said the kids make fun of her and they have figured out how to push her buttons for a reaction.  She has some friends but is slow to making new friends this year.
She is very smart and is getting all A's.  She has always been very smart and usually scores at least 3 grades above her grade level.  She is a perfectionist and sometimes she is her own worst enemy.  No matter how much we tell her she does not have to be perfect she still is her own enemy.
In class she works on her own instead of in her group and when I asked her why she said the kids in the group tease her.  She told the teacher and the teacher lets her work by herself but, i don't want her to feel left out.
I don't know what to do for her.  Should I get her tested for a disorder?  She has grown up with an older brother with Asperger's Syndrome so she is close to him.
I am at a loss.  I do not want my child to struggle socially because of this.  She is very innocent and would never treat anyone this way.

[specialmom]

Your daughter sounds lovely.  I hate that kids can be mean and feel the need to pick on someone.  I think I would think of some things that will make her feel really good about herself that you can help her pursue.  If she likes art, music, a sport, dance, etc.  I'd get her going with these.  She will build confidence and make some friends.  If she enjoys the activity and has chosen it herself, she will be more comfortable early on in the get to know you phase of it.  Girl scouts are great for shy ones (as I once was.)  Keep her confidence high as perfectionists often actually have low self esteem.  Do this by reminding her about the things you love about her (especially the ones that have nothing to do with achievement.)

As far as the other kids,  I would ask the teacher to help her a little more socially.  Help her find at least one other person in her class that may become a friend with her.  Then maybe you can work on play date/ get together with this person.  I'd give her things to say to the others.  She could say, you aren't being very nice and I think I'll find someone else to talk to today.  You have to help her with this.  The school couselor may have some ideas as well. Often schools have social skills activities too.  The teacher needs to address the class in general without naming your daughter about the teasing.  I think I would demand she does this.  They do it in kindergarten-----  it sounds like these kids need reminding.  

You are aware of delays and disorders from your older son,  she just sounds like she is shy and less skilled socially.  Help her along and she will be fine.  (isn't it the meek who are suppose to inherit the earth?)  Good luck.  

[patsue11]

Call principal, talk to teacher, but don't let your child play alone because of teasing.  

Most schools today have a no harrassement policy or other.  The fact is the teasing must absolutly stop.

Must take steps to stop teasing so your child can play with others freely and securely.

Your child is worth it

Thanks

P