Frustrated Mommy!

I have 3 children, a girl (3), and two boys (5,7).. About a year ago my kids started showing disrespect towards me and their stepfather and that's when their behavior went downhill from there. They refuse to listen, to do chores, go to bed, etc.. My 7 year old has bowel movements that has to this day still keeps happening. I have took him to the doctor but nothing was wrong. My 5 year old is starting to hit on his sister and his brother for no reason except for "he wants to".. and my 3 year old wants to run around and play "baby" all day ( which consists of her wetting her pants cont..) ! I don't know what is going on! I'm not proud to admit it, but I have tried all forms of discipline from yelling to time outs to spanking... Nothing works!! I hate having to yell or spank but sometimes it seems like it's all I can do to fully get their attention. Although even that lately has no effect. I'm at the end of my rope and I don't know what else I can do to make this better! I love my kids and I'm sick of us having so many bad days!!!

[RockRose]

These posts are so short,  it's so hard to get a real picture of what's going on and what started the misbehaviors,  and the dynamic in your home.  

I think maybe you should separate all the problems out.  

First,  your 7 year old may actually have a physical problem.  Has he had a history of constipation?  He may have encopresis (something doctors for some reason seldom seem to catch) and can't help the bowel accidents.  Google encopresis and see what you think.

Your 3 year old is acting like a baby.  I was a little surprised to look at your profile pic,  and you are feeding her like she's a little baby.  I'm not trying to be harsh,  just thought that was telling - that little snapshot of life,  there she is being fed like a 4 month old.

You're young to have children these ages,  and it sounds like there has been some disruption and upheaval in their lives.  

This is really going to take some effort - to get them to see you as an authority figure.  

How are the two oldest doing in school?  Do they behave well there?

Best wishes - your daughter is beautiful.

[AnnieBrooke]

How long has the stepfather been in their lives?  Is the change in their behavior a result of you getting married and bringing a new person into their world?  Or any other change that has disrupted them?  Is there any adult with access to them who might be abusing them?  You have to ask all the hard questions when three children are in uproar.

[nicole146]

I want to answer some questions to clear the air... me and my husband have been married for almost 2 years and has a great relationship with my kids! I have taken my oldest to the doctor and ran tests.. but they can't find any reason as to why he would be still having accidents. I have asked my son about it and he says that he "just doesn't feel like going to the bathroom." The only thing that has really disrupted them is the fact that their father has decided to walk out of their lives, but that only happened recently. I've tried to talking to my children about anyone hurting them but they say no. That's why I'm so frustrated! I really have tried everything but nothing works and I can't get through to them! Thanks for your advice, I wanted to give more information to give a better picture of what's going on.

[AnnieBrooke]

Look up encopresis, as RockRose suggested.  It really is true that doctors are not good at diagnosing it.  I would very seriously consider that someone is getting at the kids in some way.  Talk to a child therapist, you say you have tried everything but you don't mention having done that.

[nicole146]

Thanks for your advice! I'm going to look up encopresis today and make another doctor's appointment. I wanted to see if there was anything else I could do before I had them see a therapist, mainly because there's never been a large amount of people involved in their lives. The one's that has been involved thus far has been family, people I trust, and it's hard to wrap my mind around the possibility of those I trust, grew up with, would hurt my children when I never endured such things. I'm not against my kids seeing a therapist and if that's the only thing that will help, then I will.