Girl will not stop clinging to my daughter

I am wonder what I should do in this situation as it is effecting my daughters behavior.

My daughter is in grade 2 and she has this "BFF" in her class and they are very close.  I started to see a change in my daughters behavior and school work this year and her attitude is just down right rude.

I am not at all saying my daughter is perfect or that I am a great mother as I know I struggle the same as any other mother but this particular childs mother is probably in her late 40's and same with the father.  They let her rule the roost and never gets disciplined the way I feel like she should.  She is a rude child.  She talks back to her mother and is rude to her in front of other parents and the parents just sit there and say nothing.

I have had many talks with my daughter especially after that play date on how she talks to her mother and she better not think that she can talk to me that way because it wont be tolerated.

I am also a brownie leader and my daughter is my unit as well as this one child who came after so she could be with my daughter.

This child hangs off my daughter like a magnet. Not just once in a while all the time. Constantly has to be pulling on her, grabbing her and touching her. It annoys me just to look at it.  I have told her to stop and I told my daughter to speak up about it but she is afraid she will lose her as a friend.  She is constantly whispering in my daughters ear and my daughter will just do what she says.

Other girls like my daughter and when the other girl is not around they come out and say "Thank God so and so isnt here because now we can actually play with you"  The girls in my brownie unit go to her school and they tell me how they behave and how they hang off each other.

I dont notice my daughter do it but its the other girl.  I told my daughter to ask her to stop and she did but all the girl said was "I am a magnet to you" and my daughter said well you need to stop and she said" I am velcro and I cant stop"  I am so frustrating because of her grades as this girl is to me an unhealthy relationship.  

At school on Friday the teacher sent a note home saying that my daughter was put in the hallway because of her behavior. I asked my daughter what happened and she said that she hit the girl because she kept asking her to stop hanging off her and she wouldnt and thats when the teacher saw her hit her.

Anyways am I wrong for having a problem with this child?  As bad as this is I really dont like the child at all.  When you talk to her she has this smirk on her face like "whatever I am not going to stop".

Her mother is very weird and I dont feel that I can have this conversation with her because she is a very nice women.  She just doesnt deal with this stuff and even if I did talk to her I dont think she would anything.

Anyways please let me know your thoughts

[margypops]

No I dont think you are wrong to be concerned ,I believe ion that saying 'birds of a feather nest together'  I think too much of this child could rub off on your daughter, we have to be careful on who our children befriend. Its not an easy one as you will have to get her some new friends, she will have to and ignore the other girl more, you cant do it for her .perhaps ask the teacher to help out in some way if she sees any pushy behavior,especially as your daughter is getting the blame and being put out of the classroom for retaliating. Its up to the school to help deal with it, get tough on them .

[ticked]

Thanks so much for posting. I talked to the before and after school program teachers this morning and they have seen the same thing. I know that she also gets blamed by one of the teachers there all the time but not this other girl.

I have told my daughter that she is responsible for her own behavior and she shouldnt be blaming her but should be seeing what an influence she has on her and its time to make new friends.

My daughter is popular as she would like to call it so I am sure this isnt the end of the world.

I am waiting for a call back from her school teacher and talking to her about it as I know that she has a problem with it as well.  I want her separated from each other completely.

I will be asking the teacher today as well to make sure that she is not in the same class next year.

My daughter is like me and always afraid to hurt someones feelings even if that means you or myself getting in trouble. I hate that she has this trait of mine as it is the one thing in my life that has held me back.  

I wish this child would just get bored of my daughter but it doesnt look like she will.

[looloo141]

Hi from what you have said, you are already doing the right things..you have spoken to your daughter about being responsible for her own behaviour, it seems now the only problem is seperating the 2 kids.

I'm sure the school has noticed the change in your Daughter aswell, I hope they do put her in a different class, it seems the only way..your Daughter must be feeling very constricted and controlled by this girl, it really is no wonder she lost her temper and hit her!

It sounds like you have covered everything, I hope school support you in this, I can't help but think about this childs next friend! I hope school get this girl the help she needs, something is not right.

Good Luck

[ticked]

Thanks for the post.  

I feel so bad for my daughter because she is torn. She really likes her but she knows that she has been a bad influence. I wish it werent like this.  

I dont even know what possessed me to answer her mother when she asked what week my daughter was going to french camp, but I did :(  I will have to change it now as this has gotten way out of hand.

I really hope the school helps out.