Our grandson is in gifted class. His grandfather says he tested out "Mild" ADHD. His mother is an ADHD lazy,
gold digging drug addict who only wishes him to "visit" her. We've practically raised the boy. My husband is his step grandfather and is very easy on him. He has spent his life watching his mom move various men into their "home" and visit drug dealers. He is exceptionally handsome , witty and charismatic and unlike his teachers and aunt, I am willing to overlook certain things. But my other daughter, a nurse, says my leniency will turn him into a pistol wielding
criminal. Hard to believe for such a sweet natured, cuddly little darling. When accused of something he cries and denies. He (I didn't witness this) ruined the tv stand downstairs with a knife. He admitted stealing $8 from my husband's golf cart. I want to do the best job possible, I'm tired, depressed. Now his mother is engaged (she's 42) to a 79 year old rich guy with whom we do not wish to associate. I rarely see his mom; she lives 15 miles away which is too close. I guess I need to take him to a child psychologist? I'm not putting him on meds. He is teased a bit about being so short but he's very strong and cheerful (so far). In short, we adore him and want to do what's right.
His mother wants him to "visit her" sometimes at her fiance's condo. She is a former crack cocaine abuser, dyes her dog blue and her own hair platinum and doesn't want to work. I don't know her though I and her dad raised her.
Please tell me to whom I should take him in the Hot Springs Arkansas area. His grades are slipping fast, he ***** on his shirt cuffs and bites his lip if he sees his mom. HELP PLEASE !!! It's just a matter of time before she gets back on crack. One big disappointment and she'll go over the edge. Then her aunt and teacher want us to be hard on him. Susan
I have an additional thought for you. It is obvious you love your grandson very much, and it angers you that his mother has failed to fulfill her responsibilities toward him. However, I hope you do not speak about her in disparaging ways in front of your grandson. It's one thing to acknowledge her failings, it's another thing to undermine her to your grandson. Remember that she is his mother and, to some extent, when you criticize her you indirectly criticize him as well - he is part of her. Children remain very loyal to their parents, even in the face of great faults.
You definitely should arrange for your grandson to see a therapist. And , from your description, he should not be having contact with his mother, who is too mired in her personal problems to be able to provide a good influence for her son. Contact Community Counseling at 700 South Avenue and see if they might be of help. Also, ask his pediatrician if he/she has a recommendation.
thank you. I will call Community Counseling today. I hope they're sufficiently qualified.
It is hard to not let him see his mother At All since we do not have legal custody and
she is living well with a Much older man now. Not that he wants to see her much but
he sort of wants to go to the zoo with her, out of town, on saturday. She says such off the wall things that I'm sure he won't want to make a career out of being with her . She dyed her dog blue again and at 42 has a net worth of about $150. Her things were washed away in the Galveston Gustav hurricane. But at the time they had been confiscated by an apartment manager. She had no access anyway.
I so appreciate your assistance; I know your time is valuable. Susan
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