I dont even know where to start. My son is 4 1/2 years old. He has been having these melt downs for about 6 months now. First things first. He will not wear anything but this certain pair of shorts he says they are soft. He wont wear underware or pants because he says they hurt his stomache. They arent even tight. I just bought new ones that are bigger and he says the same thing. He will throw himself down and scream and hit me if I try and make him wear anything he doesnt want to. He wont wear socks because he says they are to tight on his feet and it hurts. THEY ARENT TIGHT. If they were I would understand but they are not. I find this to be wierd he really thinks these things hurt his skin. I dont get it.
Also he will not listen to ANYTHING me and his father say. He will hit, kick, bite, scratch, yell, he gets so mad he shakes and he grabs your skin and clenches it. I feel scared for him. I know there is something wrong for him to act this way but I dont know what it is. I feel helpless. He follows me around and hits me I have to lock myself in my room and then he kicks the door until i open it. I try to put him in time out in his room. He just comes right back out even madder hitting and yelling. I am at my end with him. I love him so much but I dont know what to do anymore.
My husband did try and put him over his knee and spank him when he was hitting me really bad one night and that just made him madder. He didnt even cry he just said that didnt hurt. He also says he wants to kill us or kill himself.
I dont know what we have done so bad to make him this way. I want to take him in and see if maybe he has an anger problem or a emotional control problem but I dont know who to take him and see. I'm lost and just want to cry and give up. someone please help!
First, He sounds like he has sensory defensiveness issues. Do you know where the shorts came from? If you do, can you buy him several more pairs, and do they have pants just like the shorts? There are LOTS of kinds of socks, I bet he can find ones that feel good to him. When he says they "hurt", I think he doesn't know how to say "they're very irritating".
Secondly, I don't know what to do about his out of control behavior, but if you look down the board about every 1/3 post sounds just like yours, so maybe you could pick up some help there. I'm just exhausted reading the same story over and over, and don't know what to say to help.
But don't fight about the sensory stuff. Get him clothes that feel good to him, and in the interim, wash the same pair of shorts every night.
Thank you for your input. The shorts he likes are pj shorts. They are soft. He doesnt like jeans at all. I will have to see if I can find more. For now what I do is wash the same ones. I tried taking him shopping in hopes if he picked something he liked he might wear it. nope didnt work. Sometimes i can get him to wear stuff if i tell him he'll get used to it.
I did read alot of other post like mine with the behavior issues. I just dont know where to start. I guess I will just have to make him appt with a doctor.
Definately make an appointment the his doctor about the "sensory issue". I can understand the "fear" you may feel some times. Your son knows this and will play upon it. You must always show your son you are in control of the situation, enen if inside you dont feel like it. It is hard to communicate with a 4 year old, but when you do, do it when he is calm and collected. Have a talk with him about his behavior and what is not acceptable. If he does what is not acceptabe, tell him what will happen. Make it a punishment you will stick with every time. When he is in a "rage" there is no reasoning with him. When you are talking ask him why he thinks he behaves in this manner, and what he thinks you should do to help prevent it. Make him a part of the disaplin process, that way he will know what to expect. Be consistant.......and above all, do not show fear of him. Children at this age don't know how to control their emotions. That is why it is important for us to control our emotions, that way it will be learned by your son. Good luck.
as far as the clothes issue, my brother was the same way for years growing up. he would onlyt wear like "sweat" material sorts/pants and short sleeved t shirts. no jeans, no shirts with collars or buttons, nothing. he eventually grew out of it and wears normal clothes now - he is 19. so i wouldnt worry too much about that if its an isolated issue.
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